¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe your dream house.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2024-04-22 455

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

i'll tell you about my dream house.
actually when i was young, i lived in 50 m2 apartment.
My partent working hard everyday, finally bought them.
since i know that situation, my dream was bought over the 50m2 apartment.
But grown up now, i can understand, it's very hard.
So i'm changed my goal, just have enjoyable life with a child.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Dan!
That's true! We will never understand one's situation unless we are already "in that" situation. So as early as now, the young generation should understand life situations and not sugar coating them.
Have a nice day!
T. Aki~

I'll tell you about my dream house.
>>> CORRECT!

actually when i was young, i lived in 50 m2 apartment.
>>> Actually when I was young, I lived in a 50m2 apartment.

My partent working hard everyday, finally bought them.
>>> My parents worked hard every day and finally bought them.

since i know that situation, my dream was bought over the 50m2 apartment.
>>> Since I knew that situation, my dream was to buy over the 50m2 apartment.

But grown up now, i can understand, it's very hard.
>>> But grown up now, I can understand, it's very hard.

So i'm changed my goal, just have enjoyable life with a child.
>>>  So I've changed my goal, just to have an enjoyable life with a child.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132881 My favorite game to do with my friends ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1159
132880 Should students who cheat on tests be punished? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 631
132879 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 802
132878 Who has a better quality of life, a student or a worker? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 4
132877 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132876 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What is your... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1
132875 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 664
132874 HOMEWORK FOR 11.30.2023 ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 3
132873 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1
132872 First impression about you ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1008
132871 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132870 Who do you usually like to meet and where? ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2
132869 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132868 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132867 Certain amount of time ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1018
132866 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132865 Do you think weather affects the way people feel? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1139
132864 1st home work ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132863 How important is pronunciation compared with spelling,... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1
132862 The lesson in conflict ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 531

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04