¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe your dream house.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2024-04-22 171

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

i'll tell you about my dream house.
actually when i was young, i lived in 50 m2 apartment.
My partent working hard everyday, finally bought them.
since i know that situation, my dream was bought over the 50m2 apartment.
But grown up now, i can understand, it's very hard.
So i'm changed my goal, just have enjoyable life with a child.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Dan!
That's true! We will never understand one's situation unless we are already "in that" situation. So as early as now, the young generation should understand life situations and not sugar coating them.
Have a nice day!
T. Aki~

I'll tell you about my dream house.
>>> CORRECT!

actually when i was young, i lived in 50 m2 apartment.
>>> Actually when I was young, I lived in a 50m2 apartment.

My partent working hard everyday, finally bought them.
>>> My parents worked hard every day and finally bought them.

since i know that situation, my dream was bought over the 50m2 apartment.
>>> Since I knew that situation, my dream was to buy over the 50m2 apartment.

But grown up now, i can understand, it's very hard.
>>> But grown up now, I can understand, it's very hard.

So i'm changed my goal, just have enjoyable life with a child.
>>>  So I've changed my goal, just to have an enjoyable life with a child.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136624 I want to know whether the content of this paragraph is okay °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 4
136623 homework 04.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 167
136622 If you could go back in time, what would you like to do after... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 195
136621 2024.04.22 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136620 A good chance ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 218
136619 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136618 What is something that you miss doing? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 327
136617 My expectation from Sharon\'s power english class. ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136616 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 200
136615 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 7
136614 >> What\'s your ideal guy? Explain your answer. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 2
136613 primarily ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136612 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136611 How do you keep yourself both mentally and physically healthy? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 203
136610 How could art be appreciated and enjoyed by more people? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 174
136609 Which among the birthstones do you like best? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 112
136608 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 132
136607 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 159
136606 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 249
136605 2024.04.19 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 187

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04