¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are you good at managing your time? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-04-21 891

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I am good at managing my time, I plan my schedule for the day times in the morning.
I usually study from 9 am to 2 or 3pm in school and l go to Taekwondo center and come home study.
After finish studying, I watch TV or play games.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Jimmy! 

I'm sending you your corrected composition. As always, please note the corrections

Here's your corrected composition, Jimmy. Please take note of some corrections (punctuation mark, such as comma or period/full stop - whether you need them or not) and the alternative sentences. Good evening there! 


Cheers,
Jean~~





                           Are you good at managing your time? Explain your answer.




Yes, I am good at managing my time, I plan my schedule for the day times in the morning.
>> Yes, I am good at managing my time. I plan my schedule for the daytime in the morning.

I usually study from 9 am to 2 or 3pm in school and l go to Taekwondo center and come home study.
>> I usually study from 9 am to 2 or 3 pm in school then go to the Taekwondo center and come home to study.

After finish studying, I watch TV or play games.
>> OR: After finishing my scheduled activities, I watch TV or play games. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135709 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 487
135708 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 586
135707 Dream ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 928
135706 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2
135705 2023.03.20 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1
135704 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 711
135703 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 537
135702 The scariest moment in my life. ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 899
135701 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 0
135700 What does success mean to you, and how do you plan to reach it? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 740
135699 first day is no homework? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1115
135698 What are some differences you notice between the food in your... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 3
135697 HOMEWORK: [Grammar] What three (3) adjectives would you use to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 0
135696 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1
135695 Is it important to know a lot of information in today¡¯s world? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 604
135694 How do you see yourself in 5 years? ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 817
135693 Which is worse for your health, smoking every day or drinking... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1076
135692 Three things that I bought ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 530
135691 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1048
135690 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 540

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04