¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are you good at managing your time? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-04-21 1066

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I am good at managing my time, I plan my schedule for the day times in the morning.
I usually study from 9 am to 2 or 3pm in school and l go to Taekwondo center and come home study.
After finish studying, I watch TV or play games.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Jimmy! 

I'm sending you your corrected composition. As always, please note the corrections

Here's your corrected composition, Jimmy. Please take note of some corrections (punctuation mark, such as comma or period/full stop - whether you need them or not) and the alternative sentences. Good evening there! 


Cheers,
Jean~~





                           Are you good at managing your time? Explain your answer.




Yes, I am good at managing my time, I plan my schedule for the day times in the morning.
>> Yes, I am good at managing my time. I plan my schedule for the daytime in the morning.

I usually study from 9 am to 2 or 3pm in school and l go to Taekwondo center and come home study.
>> I usually study from 9 am to 2 or 3 pm in school then go to the Taekwondo center and come home to study.

After finish studying, I watch TV or play games.
>> OR: After finishing my scheduled activities, I watch TV or play games. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136561 Whats your favorite subject? Why/ ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 761
136560 what do you want to change in your life? ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 2
136559 Make a sentence using the following words: Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 780
136558 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 2
136557 How do you prioritize spending quality time with your family... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1
136556 HOMEWORK FOR 04.19.2024 WRITING TASK: How can you live life to... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 5
136555 advance ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 978
136554 Every misfortune is a blessing in disguise ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1015
136553 What kind of people are less likely to suffer from stress or... ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 0
136552 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1241
136551 If you could change anything about your present home, what would... ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 981
136550 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 717
136549 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1
136548 Operating cafe ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 904
136547 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1
136546 What do you think is the best martial art? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 598
136545 What career opportunities are there for the younger generation... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1119
136544 How do you make new friends? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 858
136543 How does the cost of living affect people\'s lives? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 756
136542 homework 04.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 819

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04