¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are you good at managing your time? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-04-21 454

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I am good at managing my time, I plan my schedule for the day times in the morning.
I usually study from 9 am to 2 or 3pm in school and l go to Taekwondo center and come home study.
After finish studying, I watch TV or play games.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Jimmy! 

I'm sending you your corrected composition. As always, please note the corrections

Here's your corrected composition, Jimmy. Please take note of some corrections (punctuation mark, such as comma or period/full stop - whether you need them or not) and the alternative sentences. Good evening there! 


Cheers,
Jean~~





                           Are you good at managing your time? Explain your answer.




Yes, I am good at managing my time, I plan my schedule for the day times in the morning.
>> Yes, I am good at managing my time. I plan my schedule for the daytime in the morning.

I usually study from 9 am to 2 or 3pm in school and l go to Taekwondo center and come home study.
>> I usually study from 9 am to 2 or 3 pm in school then go to the Taekwondo center and come home to study.

After finish studying, I watch TV or play games.
>> OR: After finishing my scheduled activities, I watch TV or play games. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139801 What was the last thing you did that made you feel so much... ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 331
139800 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 1
139799 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2
139798 Don\'t ask to her/his body size! ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 4
139797 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 328
139796 What healthy habits do you have? ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 279
139795 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 366
139794 What activities do you usually do when you meet friends? ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 106
139793 What is your favorite room in your house? Why? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 371
139792 9/9(Mon) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 297
139791 Whose personality do you like best out of all the people in the... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 252
139790 Q) Do you think that it is more valuable to read a book than to... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 4
139789 Short-term and long-term goals ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 352
139788 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 342
139787 overnight ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2
139786 thankful ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 1
139785 Do you think it is more important to make a lot of money or to... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 389
139784 Let\'s We think about The Important of music. °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 382
139783 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2
139782 What is your favorite drink? Is there a special memory or story... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 347

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04