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How do you think society\'s definition of beauty has changed over time? Do you think these changes a

작성자: 황*은
2024-04-20 1225

회원님의 영작문

In the past the definition of beauty differed by areas even in one country. People usually lived in where they born so they seemed different by areas. But I heard that Koreans generally thought it is beautiful to look good in Hanbok, our traditional clothes. It means people liked simple and balanced faces.
In 20th century slim body and face didn't considered to be beautiful. People thought a little chubby bodies are more beautiful. But now, the beauty standard totally changed. Slim body, heavy make-up and western style faces became symbol of beauty. I think these changes are natural because the standard of beauty has always been changed. But there exist some negative aspects. Some people do extreme diet pursuing very thin body, which is not healthy. And many people do plastic surgery because they think big eyes, big nose and small face are more beautiful. Plastic surgery is not a fault but this trend makes people don't content with their original faces.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Seong Eun 

Great job on your homework! You've provided some insightful thoughts on how society's definition of beauty has evolved over time. 

You mentioned that in the past, beauty standards varied by region, and simplicity and balance were valued, especially in traditional Korean clothing like the Hanbok. Then, in the 20th century, perceptions shifted towards appreciating slightly fuller figures. Now, there's a trend towards slim bodies, heavy makeup, and Westernized facial features. Your observation about the natural evolution of beauty standards is spot on. It's true that these changes reflect societal shifts and preferences. However, you also noted some negative aspects, like extreme dieting and the pressure for plastic surgery to conform to certain beauty ideals. Your awareness of these issues shows a thoughtful consideration of the topic. Remember, it's important to acknowledge both the positive and negative sides of these changes. While beauty standards may evolve, it's crucial to prioritize health and self-acceptance. Keep up the great work! Your critical thinking skills and insights are impressive. If you have any questions or want to discuss further, feel free to reach out. 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

In the past the definition of beauty differed by areas even in one country.  

>>In the past, the definition of beauty differed by area even in one country.  

People usually lived in where they born so they seemed different by areas.  

>>People usually lived where they were born so they seemed different by area.  

But I heard that Koreans generally thought it is beautiful to look good in Hanbok, our traditional clothes.  

>>But I heard that Koreans generally thought it was beautiful to look good in Hanbok, our traditional clothes.  

It means people liked simple and balanced faces. 

>>CORRECT 

OR>>This means people preferred simple and harmonious facial features. 

In 20th century slim body and face didn't considered to be beautiful.  

>>In the 20th century slim body and face weren't considered to be beautiful.  

People thought a little chubby bodies are more beautiful.  

>>People thought that little chubby bodies were more beautiful.  

But now, the beauty standard totally changed.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>Nowadays, beauty standards have completely shifted. 

Slim body, heavy make-up and western style faces became symbol of beauty.  

>>Slim bodies, heavy make-up and Western-style faces became symbols of beauty.  

I think these changes are natural because the standard of beauty has always been changed.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>I believe these changes are natural because the standard of beauty has always evolved over time. 

But there exist some negative aspects.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>But there are still some negative aspects. 

Some people do extreme diet pursuing very thin body, which is not healthy.  

>>Some people do extreme diets pursuing a very thin body, which is not healthy.  

And many people do plastic surgery because they think big eyes, big nose and small face are more beautiful.  

>>Many people do plastic surgery because they think big eyes, big noses and small faces are more beautiful.  

Plastic surgery is not a fault but this trend makes people don't content with their original faces. 

>>Plastic surgery is not inherently wrong, but this trend can make people dissatisfied with their natural appearance. 

 

 

 

 

 

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