무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How do you think society\'s definition of beauty has changed over time? Do you think these changes a

작성자: 황*은
2024-04-20 370

회원님의 영작문

In the past the definition of beauty differed by areas even in one country. People usually lived in where they born so they seemed different by areas. But I heard that Koreans generally thought it is beautiful to look good in Hanbok, our traditional clothes. It means people liked simple and balanced faces.
In 20th century slim body and face didn't considered to be beautiful. People thought a little chubby bodies are more beautiful. But now, the beauty standard totally changed. Slim body, heavy make-up and western style faces became symbol of beauty. I think these changes are natural because the standard of beauty has always been changed. But there exist some negative aspects. Some people do extreme diet pursuing very thin body, which is not healthy. And many people do plastic surgery because they think big eyes, big nose and small face are more beautiful. Plastic surgery is not a fault but this trend makes people don't content with their original faces.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Seong Eun 

Great job on your homework! You've provided some insightful thoughts on how society's definition of beauty has evolved over time. 

You mentioned that in the past, beauty standards varied by region, and simplicity and balance were valued, especially in traditional Korean clothing like the Hanbok. Then, in the 20th century, perceptions shifted towards appreciating slightly fuller figures. Now, there's a trend towards slim bodies, heavy makeup, and Westernized facial features. Your observation about the natural evolution of beauty standards is spot on. It's true that these changes reflect societal shifts and preferences. However, you also noted some negative aspects, like extreme dieting and the pressure for plastic surgery to conform to certain beauty ideals. Your awareness of these issues shows a thoughtful consideration of the topic. Remember, it's important to acknowledge both the positive and negative sides of these changes. While beauty standards may evolve, it's crucial to prioritize health and self-acceptance. Keep up the great work! Your critical thinking skills and insights are impressive. If you have any questions or want to discuss further, feel free to reach out. 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

In the past the definition of beauty differed by areas even in one country.  

>>In the past, the definition of beauty differed by area even in one country.  

People usually lived in where they born so they seemed different by areas.  

>>People usually lived where they were born so they seemed different by area.  

But I heard that Koreans generally thought it is beautiful to look good in Hanbok, our traditional clothes.  

>>But I heard that Koreans generally thought it was beautiful to look good in Hanbok, our traditional clothes.  

It means people liked simple and balanced faces. 

>>CORRECT 

OR>>This means people preferred simple and harmonious facial features. 

In 20th century slim body and face didn't considered to be beautiful.  

>>In the 20th century slim body and face weren't considered to be beautiful.  

People thought a little chubby bodies are more beautiful.  

>>People thought that little chubby bodies were more beautiful.  

But now, the beauty standard totally changed.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>Nowadays, beauty standards have completely shifted. 

Slim body, heavy make-up and western style faces became symbol of beauty.  

>>Slim bodies, heavy make-up and Western-style faces became symbols of beauty.  

I think these changes are natural because the standard of beauty has always been changed.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>I believe these changes are natural because the standard of beauty has always evolved over time. 

But there exist some negative aspects.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>But there are still some negative aspects. 

Some people do extreme diet pursuing very thin body, which is not healthy.  

>>Some people do extreme diets pursuing a very thin body, which is not healthy.  

And many people do plastic surgery because they think big eyes, big nose and small face are more beautiful.  

>>Many people do plastic surgery because they think big eyes, big noses and small faces are more beautiful.  

Plastic surgery is not a fault but this trend makes people don't content with their original faces. 

>>Plastic surgery is not inherently wrong, but this trend can make people dissatisfied with their natural appearance. 

 

 

 

 

 

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
136027 homework 박*연 완료 2024-04-02 217
136026 homework 유*린 완료 2024-04-01 369
136025 Social responsibility 임*진 완료 2024-04-01 191
136024 HOMEWORK 이*준 완료 2024-04-01 263
136023 Homework 장*혁 완료 2024-04-01 417
136022 English 이*규 완료 2024-04-01 603
136021 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-04-01 1
136020 If you could go back to your university/college days, would you... 진*호 완료 2024-04-01 0
136019 Homework 권*미 완료 2024-04-01 1
136018 Homework 김*원 완료 2024-04-01 173
136017 Homework 권*미 완료 2024-04-01 0
136016 homework 이*숙 완료 2024-04-01 609
136015 Homework 권*미 완료 2024-04-01 0
136014 2023.04.01 숙제 양*율 완료 2024-04-01 1
136013 What kind of video game system do you have? 송*우 완료 2024-04-01 167
136012 age 민*정 완료 2024-04-01 3
136011 Why is it important to rest and relax during a long weekend? 에*미 완료 2024-04-01 1
136010 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What are the... 앨* 완료 2024-04-01 0
136009 What is the most important in studying English: speaking,... 박*은 완료 2024-04-01 124
136008 >> What are your thoughts on the trainee system of idols in your... 이*민 완료 2024-04-01 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]