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How does the cost of living affect people\'s lives?

작성자: 황*은
2024-04-18 1084

회원님의 영작문

We need money and some effort to live. We need to spend money to eat something, to wear clothes, to live in a house, to use traffic, to meet people and to go to hospitals. Also, we should work to earn money and for our mental health. And we need to make some effort to live life that we want. For this, We sometimes learn something, pay attention to our health and so on.
If we have enough money or we put efforts more than others then our lives might get better. Meanwhile, there are some factors that we can't change. They make cost of living differ by people making their lives harder or easier.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Seong Eun, 

You've given a thoughtful perspective on how the cost of living impacts our lives. It's true that money plays a significant role in our daily lives, affecting everything from our basic needs to our overall well-being. It's important to be mindful of these factors and to find a balance that allows us to live comfortably while also taking care of our mental and physical health. 

Keep exploring ways to manage your expenses and prioritize what truly matters to you. You're doing a great job thinking critically about these issues! 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

We need money and some effort to live.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>We need both money and effort to sustain our lives. 

We need to spend money to eat something, to wear clothes, to live in a house, to use traffic, to meet people and to go to hospitals.  

>>We need to spend money to eat something, wear clothes, live in a house, use traffic, meet people and go to hospitals.  

Also, we should work to earn money and for our mental health.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>Also, it's important to work for both financial stability and mental well-being. 

And we need to make some effort to live life that we want.  

>>And we need to make some effort to live the life that we want.  

For this, We sometimes learn something, pay attention to our health and so on. 

>>CORRECT 

OR>>To achieve this, we often engage in learning new skills and taking care of our health. 

If we have enough money or we put efforts more than others then our lives might get better.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>Having sufficient funds or putting in more effort than others can lead to an improved quality of life. 

Meanwhile, there are some factors that we can't change.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>However, there are certain factors beyond our control. 

They make cost of living differ by people making their lives harder or easier. 

>>They make the cost of living differ by people making their lives harder or easier. 

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