¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 04.18

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-04-18 482

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think online shopping is more convenient than traditional shopping?

When I was young the shopping malls and traditional markets in my neighborhood are crowded people.
But, these days, many people use online malls.
There are many reason why online malls is popular.
Typically, if I have a smartphone or computer, I can shopping anywhere wherever I am.
Next reason is the online malls are cheaper than offline malls.
In addition, these days deliveries are too fast.
That's why many people more prefer online shopping.
In one side, I feel It leaves a lot to be desired.
These days, people don't go outside often.
Because they feel tired of meeting people.
And trying to solve everything use to online.
So I think many people's emotions got cold.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think online shopping is more convenient than traditional shopping?


When I was young, the shopping malls and traditional markets in my neighborhood are crowded people.
>> When I was young, the shopping malls and traditional markets in my neighborhood are crowded with people.
But, these days, many people use online malls.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> But, these days, many people use online stores.
There are many reason why online malls is popular.
>> There are many reasons why online malls are popular.
Typically, if I have a smartphone or computer, I can shopping anywhere wherever I am.
>> Typically, if I have a smartphone or computer, I can do online shopping anywhere wherever I am.
OR >> Typically, if I have a smartphone or computer, I can do online shopping anytime, anywhere.
Next reason is the online malls are cheaper than offline malls.
>> CORRECT!
In addition, these days deliveries are too fast.
>> CORRECT!
That's why many people more prefer online shopping.
>> CORRECT!
In one side, I feel It leaves a lot to be desired.
>> CORRECT!
These days, people don't go outside often.
>> CORRECT!
Because they feel tired of meeting people.
>> It's because they feel tired of meeting people.
And trying to solve everything use to online.
>> And, people try to solve everything online.
So I think many people's emotions got cold.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132401 13.Nov.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1
132400 What\'s an accomplishment that may seem small to others but... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1798
132399 something that I borrowed from someone. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1079
132398 Share information about something that brings you joy. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132397 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132396 In the age of technology, do you think we\'re better or worse at... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1109
132395 Organization ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 754
132394 Have you ever been to the zoo? What did you see and hear? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132393 homework 11.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1212
132392 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1125
132391 Do you see yourself living abroad permanently? ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 848
132390 What would you like your government to spend more money on... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1
132389 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132388 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132387 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Do you want to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1
132386 homework_1113 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 550
132385 My pronunciation problems ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 726
132384 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132383 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132382 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04