¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 04.18

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-04-18 206

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think online shopping is more convenient than traditional shopping?

When I was young the shopping malls and traditional markets in my neighborhood are crowded people.
But, these days, many people use online malls.
There are many reason why online malls is popular.
Typically, if I have a smartphone or computer, I can shopping anywhere wherever I am.
Next reason is the online malls are cheaper than offline malls.
In addition, these days deliveries are too fast.
That's why many people more prefer online shopping.
In one side, I feel It leaves a lot to be desired.
These days, people don't go outside often.
Because they feel tired of meeting people.
And trying to solve everything use to online.
So I think many people's emotions got cold.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think online shopping is more convenient than traditional shopping?


When I was young, the shopping malls and traditional markets in my neighborhood are crowded people.
>> When I was young, the shopping malls and traditional markets in my neighborhood are crowded with people.
But, these days, many people use online malls.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> But, these days, many people use online stores.
There are many reason why online malls is popular.
>> There are many reasons why online malls are popular.
Typically, if I have a smartphone or computer, I can shopping anywhere wherever I am.
>> Typically, if I have a smartphone or computer, I can do online shopping anywhere wherever I am.
OR >> Typically, if I have a smartphone or computer, I can do online shopping anytime, anywhere.
Next reason is the online malls are cheaper than offline malls.
>> CORRECT!
In addition, these days deliveries are too fast.
>> CORRECT!
That's why many people more prefer online shopping.
>> CORRECT!
In one side, I feel It leaves a lot to be desired.
>> CORRECT!
These days, people don't go outside often.
>> CORRECT!
Because they feel tired of meeting people.
>> It's because they feel tired of meeting people.
And trying to solve everything use to online.
>> And, people try to solve everything online.
So I think many people's emotions got cold.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135467 What would you do if someone couldn\'t understand you on the... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 346
135466 My country products. ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 707
135465 A bachelor ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 468
135464 Is it healtly to eat eggs everyday? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 367
135463 homework ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 0
135462 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What are the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 0
135461 What health problems do you worry about most? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 351
135460 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 468
135459 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 500
135458 winter ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 1
135457 homework ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 1
135456 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 302
135455 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 6
135454 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 1
135453 If a person takes a photo of you without getting your... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 717
135452 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 482
135451 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 1
135450 HOMEWORK- What does it mean to put effort into all we do? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 427
135449 my favorite places ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 580
135448 HOMEWORK FOR 03.13.2024 WRITING TASK: How do you use your annual... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04