¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it important for a country to have zoos? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÇÏ
2024-04-17 819

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People in a country has a liberty to enjoy leisure activities in order to sustain the level of happiness on their life. Zoo (or amusement park) is one of the selections that government considers to enhance the quality of its public environment. Not only for people, but also this facility is more likely to construct 'Eco-friendly' country which all countries in the world are seriously taking care on their meeting agenda. According to the paper column, it argues that human is trying to become a destroyer of food chain by supporting idea of illegal poaching. Because of the greed, most animals are abusing as raw material of luxury goods. One interesting thing that this journalist suggests to preserve our environment is to create zoo. It will be able to give both promotion and education of importance to protect the Earth's creature. Through this point of view, I think zoo should be an essential public space for repairing our society be normalized.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello Matthew,
That was a great composition! I am happy to read your opinion about this matter. Keep writing! :)
~ T. Demi ^^


People in a country has a liberty to enjoy leisure activities in order to sustain the level of happiness on their life.
>> Every individual has the liberty to enjoy leisure activities to sustain the level of happiness in their life
Zoo (or amusement park) is one of the selections that government considers to enhance the quality of its public environment.
>> A zoo (or an amusement park) is one of the selections that the government considers to enhance the quality of its public environment.
Not only for people, but also this facility is more likely to construct 'Eco-friendly' country which all countries in the world are seriously taking care on their meeting agenda.
>> Not only for people but also this facility is more likely to construct an eco-friendly country which all counties are seriously taking care of in their meeting agenda.
According to the paper column, it argues that human is trying to become a destroyer of food chain by supporting idea of illegal poaching.
>> According to the paper column, it argues that humans are becoming the destroyers of the food chain by supporting the idea of illegal poaching.
Because of the greed, most animals are abusing as raw material of luxury goods.
>> Because of greed, most animals are being abused as raw materials for luxury goods.
One interesting thing that this journalist suggests to preserve our environment is to create zoo.
>> One interesting thing that this journalist suggests is to create a zoo in order to preserve our environment.
It will be able to give both promotion and education of importance to protect the Earth's creature.
>> It will be able to give both promotion and education of importance to protect the Earth's creatures.
Through this point of view, I think zoo should be an essential public space for repairing our society be normalized.
>> Through this point of view, I think zoos should be an essential public space for repairing our society.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128966 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 302
128965 What three adjectives best describe your personality? ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 419
128964 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 1
128963 Have you ever been influenced to do or not do something because... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 374
128962 Do you think that using social media to prevent dementia can... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 346
128961 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 422
128960 My family gatheribg ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 306
128959 What are your thoughts about the use of solar power? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 1
128958 homework 06.20 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 229
128957 My favorite teacher ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 212
128956 If you were the head of the Ministry of Food and Drug Safety,... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 6
128955 What vegetable do you like the most and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 333
128954 My dream life abroad ±è*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 323
128953 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 332
128952 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 185
128951 Homework 6/19 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 1
128950 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 325
128949 How important is tourism to your country? What is eco-tourism?... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 507
128948 What music do you enjoy? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 0
128947 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 213

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04