¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it important for a country to have zoos? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÇÏ
2024-04-17 325

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People in a country has a liberty to enjoy leisure activities in order to sustain the level of happiness on their life. Zoo (or amusement park) is one of the selections that government considers to enhance the quality of its public environment. Not only for people, but also this facility is more likely to construct 'Eco-friendly' country which all countries in the world are seriously taking care on their meeting agenda. According to the paper column, it argues that human is trying to become a destroyer of food chain by supporting idea of illegal poaching. Because of the greed, most animals are abusing as raw material of luxury goods. One interesting thing that this journalist suggests to preserve our environment is to create zoo. It will be able to give both promotion and education of importance to protect the Earth's creature. Through this point of view, I think zoo should be an essential public space for repairing our society be normalized.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello Matthew,
That was a great composition! I am happy to read your opinion about this matter. Keep writing! :)
~ T. Demi ^^


People in a country has a liberty to enjoy leisure activities in order to sustain the level of happiness on their life.
>> Every individual has the liberty to enjoy leisure activities to sustain the level of happiness in their life
Zoo (or amusement park) is one of the selections that government considers to enhance the quality of its public environment.
>> A zoo (or an amusement park) is one of the selections that the government considers to enhance the quality of its public environment.
Not only for people, but also this facility is more likely to construct 'Eco-friendly' country which all countries in the world are seriously taking care on their meeting agenda.
>> Not only for people but also this facility is more likely to construct an eco-friendly country which all counties are seriously taking care of in their meeting agenda.
According to the paper column, it argues that human is trying to become a destroyer of food chain by supporting idea of illegal poaching.
>> According to the paper column, it argues that humans are becoming the destroyers of the food chain by supporting the idea of illegal poaching.
Because of the greed, most animals are abusing as raw material of luxury goods.
>> Because of greed, most animals are being abused as raw materials for luxury goods.
One interesting thing that this journalist suggests to preserve our environment is to create zoo.
>> One interesting thing that this journalist suggests is to create a zoo in order to preserve our environment.
It will be able to give both promotion and education of importance to protect the Earth's creature.
>> It will be able to give both promotion and education of importance to protect the Earth's creatures.
Through this point of view, I think zoo should be an essential public space for repairing our society be normalized.
>> Through this point of view, I think zoos should be an essential public space for repairing our society.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136206 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 184
136205 If you have the chance to be a celebrity or influencer, which... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 134
136204 What are the most common organizations in your country and what... ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 0
136203 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 2
136202 diary ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 221
136201 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 240
136200 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 254
136199 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 213
136198 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 226
136197 April 5th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 230
136196 What¡¯s the best birthday present you¡¯ve ever received? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 263
136195 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 274
136194 WRITING TASK: What are the disadvantages of playing sports? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 6
136193 Homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 233
136192 How does sportswear affect performance? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 219
136191 Difficult decision which didn\'t work ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 337
136190 What can you say about your speaking skills when being... ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 294
136189 Describe a hobby that you are interested in ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 1
136188 Do you have a hard time saying \'no\'? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 2
136187 Page.39 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04