¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it important for a country to have zoos? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÇÏ
2024-04-17 1660

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People in a country has a liberty to enjoy leisure activities in order to sustain the level of happiness on their life. Zoo (or amusement park) is one of the selections that government considers to enhance the quality of its public environment. Not only for people, but also this facility is more likely to construct 'Eco-friendly' country which all countries in the world are seriously taking care on their meeting agenda. According to the paper column, it argues that human is trying to become a destroyer of food chain by supporting idea of illegal poaching. Because of the greed, most animals are abusing as raw material of luxury goods. One interesting thing that this journalist suggests to preserve our environment is to create zoo. It will be able to give both promotion and education of importance to protect the Earth's creature. Through this point of view, I think zoo should be an essential public space for repairing our society be normalized.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello Matthew,
That was a great composition! I am happy to read your opinion about this matter. Keep writing! :)
~ T. Demi ^^


People in a country has a liberty to enjoy leisure activities in order to sustain the level of happiness on their life.
>> Every individual has the liberty to enjoy leisure activities to sustain the level of happiness in their life
Zoo (or amusement park) is one of the selections that government considers to enhance the quality of its public environment.
>> A zoo (or an amusement park) is one of the selections that the government considers to enhance the quality of its public environment.
Not only for people, but also this facility is more likely to construct 'Eco-friendly' country which all countries in the world are seriously taking care on their meeting agenda.
>> Not only for people but also this facility is more likely to construct an eco-friendly country which all counties are seriously taking care of in their meeting agenda.
According to the paper column, it argues that human is trying to become a destroyer of food chain by supporting idea of illegal poaching.
>> According to the paper column, it argues that humans are becoming the destroyers of the food chain by supporting the idea of illegal poaching.
Because of the greed, most animals are abusing as raw material of luxury goods.
>> Because of greed, most animals are being abused as raw materials for luxury goods.
One interesting thing that this journalist suggests to preserve our environment is to create zoo.
>> One interesting thing that this journalist suggests is to create a zoo in order to preserve our environment.
It will be able to give both promotion and education of importance to protect the Earth's creature.
>> It will be able to give both promotion and education of importance to protect the Earth's creatures.
Through this point of view, I think zoo should be an essential public space for repairing our society be normalized.
>> Through this point of view, I think zoos should be an essential public space for repairing our society.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138376 2024.07.08 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-09 763
138375 What do you think of July weather? Are there any bad things... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-09 968
138374 What\'s your favorite music video? Do videos help you enjoy the... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-07-09 909
138373 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-09 1156
138372 How do someone\'s interests affect a person\'s life? ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-07-09 957
138371 Homework À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-09 2
138370 HOMEWORK FOR 07.09.2024 DIRECTIONS: Please tell me about the... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-09 2
138369 Homework ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-09 0
138368 two appointment ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-09 1
138367 Do you see playing the guitar as a hobby or a potential career... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-09 971
138366 craft beer ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-09 745
138365 How may we overcome laziness when dealing with an important... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-09 862
138364 How may we overcome laziness when dealing with an important... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-09 922
138363 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 0
138362 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 788
138361 Sibilant ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 772
138360 What are the advantages and disadvantages of being rich? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 938
138359 What I cannot live without ÀÌ*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 3
138358 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 3
138357 What can you consider as your field? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04