¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 04.16

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-04-16 756

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What could be the reasons why some siblings end up having a bad blood with each other?

Sometimes, we want to live a rich life.
Because they seems to live a wealth life, they seems don't have any problems and worries about money.
But, there is no big difference between people's life.
And also rich people have pain in their life just like others too.
It means, I think the most common beef about something is a money problem, a financial, and legacy inheritance between siblings .
Most people's greed has no limits.
Because, whether we have a lot or a little, we want to have more.
In old Korea, we had prefers sons over daughters culture.
So, until the my parents' generation, only first son was given a inheritance.
But, rest of the son and daughters didn't receive it.
So the beef between the brothers became worse.
Sometimes the most common case I watched on the another country's news is the inheritance problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What could be the reasons why some siblings end up having a bad blood with each other?


Sometimes, we want to live a rich life.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Sometimes, we want to live a wealthy life.
Because they seems to live a wealth life, they seems don't have any problems and worries about money.
>> That's because they seem to live a wealthy life, they don't have any problems and worries about money.
But, there is no big difference between people's life.
>> But, there is no big difference between people's lives.
And also rich people have pain in their life just like others, too.
>> And also, rich people have pain in their lives just like others, too.
It means, I think the most common beef about something is a money problem, a financial, and legacy inheritance between siblings.
>> It means, I think the most common beef about something is money or finances, and legacy inheritance between siblings.
Most people's greed has no limits.
>> CORRECT!
Because, whether we have a lot or a little, we want to have more.
>> CORRECT!
In old Korea, we had prefers sons over daughters culture.
>> In old Korea, we used to prefer sons over daughters in our culture.
So, until the my parents' generation, only first son was given a inheritance.
>> So, until the my parents' generation, only the first son was given an inheritance.
But, rest of the son and daughters didn't receive it.
>> But, the rest of the sons and daughters don't receive anything.
So the beef between the brothers became worse.
>> CORRECT!
Sometimes the most common case I watched on the another country's news is the inheritance problem.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129732 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 0
129731 Do you like eating candy ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1707
129730 Do you prefer rainy or sunny weather? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 0
129729 homework 07.24 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1961
129728 What do you think is the most important part of the body? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1111
129727 What is the food that you dislike the most? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1317
129726 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1287
129725 letter ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1
129724 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 3434
129723 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 0
129722 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1484
129721 Which season do you like in your country? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1186
129720 Do you like listening to music? What are your favorite songs? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1383
129719 What can transform your business to a higher level? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1
129718 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1768
129717 WRITING TASK: What are the advantages of change? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 4
129716 Have you seen a hospital that gives better benefits lately? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1079
129715 How necessary do you think are family gatherings? ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1070
129714 My expectations from class and teacher. ¼­*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 3301
129713 How does your company fulfill its corporate responsibility ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04