¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 04.16

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-04-16 683

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What could be the reasons why some siblings end up having a bad blood with each other?

Sometimes, we want to live a rich life.
Because they seems to live a wealth life, they seems don't have any problems and worries about money.
But, there is no big difference between people's life.
And also rich people have pain in their life just like others too.
It means, I think the most common beef about something is a money problem, a financial, and legacy inheritance between siblings .
Most people's greed has no limits.
Because, whether we have a lot or a little, we want to have more.
In old Korea, we had prefers sons over daughters culture.
So, until the my parents' generation, only first son was given a inheritance.
But, rest of the son and daughters didn't receive it.
So the beef between the brothers became worse.
Sometimes the most common case I watched on the another country's news is the inheritance problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What could be the reasons why some siblings end up having a bad blood with each other?


Sometimes, we want to live a rich life.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Sometimes, we want to live a wealthy life.
Because they seems to live a wealth life, they seems don't have any problems and worries about money.
>> That's because they seem to live a wealthy life, they don't have any problems and worries about money.
But, there is no big difference between people's life.
>> But, there is no big difference between people's lives.
And also rich people have pain in their life just like others, too.
>> And also, rich people have pain in their lives just like others, too.
It means, I think the most common beef about something is a money problem, a financial, and legacy inheritance between siblings.
>> It means, I think the most common beef about something is money or finances, and legacy inheritance between siblings.
Most people's greed has no limits.
>> CORRECT!
Because, whether we have a lot or a little, we want to have more.
>> CORRECT!
In old Korea, we had prefers sons over daughters culture.
>> In old Korea, we used to prefer sons over daughters in our culture.
So, until the my parents' generation, only first son was given a inheritance.
>> So, until the my parents' generation, only the first son was given an inheritance.
But, rest of the son and daughters didn't receive it.
>> But, the rest of the sons and daughters don't receive anything.
So the beef between the brothers became worse.
>> CORRECT!
Sometimes the most common case I watched on the another country's news is the inheritance problem.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131236 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 382
131235 Drunk driving ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 568
131234 I prefer pescatarian because if ill be pescatarian i can eat... ±è*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 424
131233 Do you agree that companies should fulfill their social... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 2
131232 WRITING TASK: Who was the last lonely person you have listened... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1
131231 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 396
131230 mandatory ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 500
131229 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1
131228 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 578
131227 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 260
131226 How does climate change impact water supply and demand? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1
131225 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 2
131224 How do you think excessive absences and tardiness affect an... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 0
131223 why we anticipate weekends °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 2
131222 homework °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 548
131221 Major ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 639
131220 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1111
131219 Write about your hometown and explain why it\'s a good place to... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1
131218 homework 09.21 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 693
131217 What is more important to you? Social issues or environmental... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04