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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HW

작성자: 나*진
2024-04-16 888

회원님의 영작문

I believe that the most crucial element in elevating a good game to a truly great one is 'content volume.' While short and impactful games are often produced, they struggle to leave a lasting impression due to their shorter playtimes. On the other hand, creating games with extensive content volume is challenging, as maintaining quality throughout numerous content pieces and playtime is difficult. However, once a game with high-quality, extensive content volume is crafted, players are captivated by it for long periods, leaving a strong impression. For instance, in the case of Baldur's Gate 3, while praised for its D&D-like story options and turn-based combat system, it was the vast content volume that contributed significantly to its potential to win the Game of The Year title. Despite requiring substantial playtime to reach the ending, the game's provision of diverse story choices in NPC dialogues made it truly outstanding, thus leaving a profound impression on people's minds.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Eugene!
Good job again! Succinctly, you highlighted the challenge of maintaining quality across extensive content while underscoring its impact on player engagement and lasting impressions. You even mentioned clear examples showcasing your point. Overall, you made a clear and persuasive argument.
~ Teacher Maxine

I believe that the most crucial element in elevating a good game to a truly great one is 'content volume.' 
>> CORRECT!

While short and impactful games are often produced, they struggle to leave a lasting impression due to their shorter playtimes. 
>> CORRECT!

On the other hand, creating games with extensive content volume is challenging, as maintaining quality throughout numerous content pieces and playtime is difficult. 
>> CORRECT!

However, once a game with high-quality, extensive content volume is crafted, players are captivated by it for long periods, leaving a strong impression. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> However, once a game with extensive, high-quality content is created, it captivates players for extended periods, leaving a profound impression.

For instance, in the case of Baldur's Gate 3, while praised for its D&D-like story options and turn-based combat system, it was the vast content volume that contributed significantly to its potential to win the Game of The Year title.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Take Baldur's Gate 3, for example. While acclaimed for its D&D-like story options and turn-based combat system, its vast content volume significantly contributed to its potential to win the Game of The Year title.

Despite requiring substantial playtime to reach the ending, the game's provision of diverse story choices in NPC dialogues made it truly outstanding, thus leaving a profound impression on people's minds.
>> CORRECT!
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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