무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you think beauty pageants should focus more on inner beauty than outer beauty?

작성자: 박*호
2024-04-15 559

회원님의 영작문

Criticism has been steadily raised that beauty pageants are sexually commercializing women, and accordingly, the criteria for judging beauty pageants are changing in the direction of strengthening inner beauty rather than outer beauty.
Most beauty pageants are judged not on the body shape or beauty of the contestants, but on the intellectual level and the ability to tactfully answer tricky questions.
However, I think a beauty contest should be like a beauty contest.
It is natural for women to pursue beauty and men to pursue strength.
All men like beautiful women, and all women like strong men.
Also, women have to make a lot of effort to have a good body and beautiful appearance.
They have to exercise constantly, wear makeup that fits the latest trends, and wear stylish clothes.
And judging women's intellectual level and various talents can be done in competitions other than beauty contests.
Therefore, I think it is right to operate beauty pageants mainly on external beauty.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Happy Monday, Sun!

Thank you for doing your homework! See you in class! 

- Kristine ^^ 

Criticism has been steadily raised that beauty pageants are sexually commercializing women, and accordingly, the criteria for judging beauty pageants are changing in the direction of strengthening inner beauty rather than outer beauty.
>> The argument that beauty pageants sexually exploit women has been made more often, and as a result, the standards by which beauty pageants are judged have changed to emphasize inner rather than outer beauty.
Most beauty pageants are judged not on the body shape or beauty of the contestants, but on the intellectual level and the ability to tactfully answer tricky questions.
>> Most beauty pageants are judged not on the body shape or beauty of the contestants but on their intellectual level and their ability to tactfully answer tricky questions.
However, I think a beauty contest should be like a beauty contest.
>> However, I think a beauty contest should be a contest for beauty.
It is natural for women to pursue beauty and men to pursue strength.
>> Correct.
All men like beautiful women, and all women like strong men.
>> Correct.
Also, women have to make a lot of effort to have a good body and beautiful appearance.
>> Women also need to put in a lot of work to maintain a healthy body and attractive appearance.
They have to exercise constantly, wear makeup that fits the latest trends, and wear stylish clothes.
>> Correct.
And judging women's intellectual level and various talents can be done in competitions other than beauty contests.
>> Furthermore, competitions other than beauty pageants can be used to judge women's intelligence and other talents.
Therefore, I think it is right to operate beauty pageants mainly on external beauty.
>> Therefore, I think it is right to operate beauty pageants mainly on external beauty.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
130850 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-09-07 630
130849 Homework 정*혁 완료 2023-09-07 905
130848 Essay 이*경 완료 2023-09-07 880
130847 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG 완료 2023-09-07 602
130846 What is the best way to fully enjoy your life in the... 박*아 완료 2023-09-07 1146
130845 5 이*은 완료 2023-09-07 970
130844 What are the effects of knowing astronomy to humans? 강*정 완료 2023-09-07 0
130843 human right 권*희 완료 2023-09-07 534
130842 WRITING TASK: Do you think there is a way to be always prepared... 임*지 완료 2023-09-07 5
130841 questions) 홍*표 완료 2023-09-07 351
130840 If you wrote a letter to your government, what would you write... 이*민 완료 2023-09-07 1
130839 9/6 homework 윤*현 완료 2023-09-07 576
130838 What\'s a life experience you\'re looking forward to in the... 이*윤 완료 2023-09-07 565
130837 How do you stay motivated and passionate about your career over... 김*규 완료 2023-09-07 1
130836 Today\'s homework 이*도 완료 2023-09-06 355
130835 Homework 김*님 완료 2023-09-06 945
130834 Where are some good places to meet people? 김*진 완료 2023-09-06 1
130833 Homework-230906 양*애 완료 2023-09-06 2
130832 Homework 전*아 완료 2023-09-06 3
130831 Writing 성*경 완료 2023-09-06 648

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]