¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Something I would risk my life

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*¿¬
2024-04-15 1836

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my forties, I was busy expanding my academies. I once ran three academies. All of my attention was focused on my academies. I didn't take care of myself, didn't have enough time to relax, and even ignored any symptoms of my body. Eventually I had a severe surgery of womb extraction. The doctor scolded me for neglecting the cyst in my womb. He said that the cyst would have become a malignant tumor if I had come a little later. After four-hour surgery, I had to get transfusions for three days. I thought severe workaholic took a risk our lives.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Gi Yean!
First, I want to commend you for using the word "transfusion". It shows how eager you are in applying the words we've learned. Also, it's a good thing that you went to the doctor before the sickness became incurable. I'm happy to hear that in our lesson you said you won't risk your life again just to obtain something. It shows that you are now prioritizing health more than anything else.
- T. Caitlyn
In my forties, I was busy expanding my academies. 
>> CORRECT
I once ran three academies. 
>> CORRECT
All of my attention was focused on my academies. 
>> CORRECT
I didn't take care of myself, didn't have enough time to relax, and even ignored any symptoms of my body. 
>> CORRECT 
Eventually I had a severe surgery of womb extraction. 
>> Eventually, I had major surgery for womb extraction. 
The doctor scolded me for neglecting the cyst in my womb. 
>> CORRECT 
He said that the cyst would have become a malignant tumor if I had come a little later. 
>> CORRECT 
After four-hour surgery, I had to get transfusions for three days. 
>> CORRECT 
I thought severe workaholic took a risk our lives.
>> I thought being a severe workaholic was risking our lives.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132677 What kind of world do you think would be this if people never... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2250
132676 WRITING TASK: What kinds of problems can people face that might... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 6
132675 . ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 9
132674 . ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 4
132673 new agency... ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 3541
132672 Homework ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2608
132671 What was the movie you saw that had a great impact on your life? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 4069
132670 complaints Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2650
132669 Outsourcing, complaint Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2070
132668 motivation of running continuously ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 3089
132667 Should companies be required to hire a diverse staff? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 0
132666 Do you think it\'s more challenging to set personal or... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 3517
132665 How are weekend mornings diffrent from weekday morning? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 2385
132664 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 0
132663 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 0
132662 What do you spend your day thinking about most? Why? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 3262
132661 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 0
132660 homework 11.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 2620
132659 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 2
132658 Me and my friends ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-22 1505

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04