¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Something I would risk my life

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*¿¬
2024-04-15 1689

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my forties, I was busy expanding my academies. I once ran three academies. All of my attention was focused on my academies. I didn't take care of myself, didn't have enough time to relax, and even ignored any symptoms of my body. Eventually I had a severe surgery of womb extraction. The doctor scolded me for neglecting the cyst in my womb. He said that the cyst would have become a malignant tumor if I had come a little later. After four-hour surgery, I had to get transfusions for three days. I thought severe workaholic took a risk our lives.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Gi Yean!
First, I want to commend you for using the word "transfusion". It shows how eager you are in applying the words we've learned. Also, it's a good thing that you went to the doctor before the sickness became incurable. I'm happy to hear that in our lesson you said you won't risk your life again just to obtain something. It shows that you are now prioritizing health more than anything else.
- T. Caitlyn
In my forties, I was busy expanding my academies. 
>> CORRECT
I once ran three academies. 
>> CORRECT
All of my attention was focused on my academies. 
>> CORRECT
I didn't take care of myself, didn't have enough time to relax, and even ignored any symptoms of my body. 
>> CORRECT 
Eventually I had a severe surgery of womb extraction. 
>> Eventually, I had major surgery for womb extraction. 
The doctor scolded me for neglecting the cyst in my womb. 
>> CORRECT 
He said that the cyst would have become a malignant tumor if I had come a little later. 
>> CORRECT 
After four-hour surgery, I had to get transfusions for three days. 
>> CORRECT 
I thought severe workaholic took a risk our lives.
>> I thought being a severe workaholic was risking our lives.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132880 Should students who cheat on tests be punished? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2296
132879 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2356
132878 Who has a better quality of life, a student or a worker? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 4
132877 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132876 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What is your... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1
132875 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2780
132874 HOMEWORK FOR 11.30.2023 ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 3
132873 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1
132872 First impression about you ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2971
132871 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132870 Who do you usually like to meet and where? ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2
132869 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132868 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132867 Certain amount of time ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2728
132866 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132865 Do you think weather affects the way people feel? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 3442
132864 1st home work ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132863 How important is pronunciation compared with spelling,... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1
132862 The lesson in conflict ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2226
132861 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2720

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04