¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Something I would risk my life

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*¿¬
2024-04-15 1645

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my forties, I was busy expanding my academies. I once ran three academies. All of my attention was focused on my academies. I didn't take care of myself, didn't have enough time to relax, and even ignored any symptoms of my body. Eventually I had a severe surgery of womb extraction. The doctor scolded me for neglecting the cyst in my womb. He said that the cyst would have become a malignant tumor if I had come a little later. After four-hour surgery, I had to get transfusions for three days. I thought severe workaholic took a risk our lives.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Gi Yean!
First, I want to commend you for using the word "transfusion". It shows how eager you are in applying the words we've learned. Also, it's a good thing that you went to the doctor before the sickness became incurable. I'm happy to hear that in our lesson you said you won't risk your life again just to obtain something. It shows that you are now prioritizing health more than anything else.
- T. Caitlyn
In my forties, I was busy expanding my academies. 
>> CORRECT
I once ran three academies. 
>> CORRECT
All of my attention was focused on my academies. 
>> CORRECT
I didn't take care of myself, didn't have enough time to relax, and even ignored any symptoms of my body. 
>> CORRECT 
Eventually I had a severe surgery of womb extraction. 
>> Eventually, I had major surgery for womb extraction. 
The doctor scolded me for neglecting the cyst in my womb. 
>> CORRECT 
He said that the cyst would have become a malignant tumor if I had come a little later. 
>> CORRECT 
After four-hour surgery, I had to get transfusions for three days. 
>> CORRECT 
I thought severe workaholic took a risk our lives.
>> I thought being a severe workaholic was risking our lives.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133177 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 2
133176 The power of social media ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 2071
133175 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1
133174 Is it necessary to have a reunion every year? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 2
133173 School debate ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1695
133172 SElf introduction ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1383
133171 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1472
133170 Should drunk drivers have their driver\'s licenses permanently... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 2
133169 My tastes for some clothing brands ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 3050
133168 Thinking of me ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1920
133167 Rush hour in Seoul °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1
133166 My decision for next year ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 2227
133165 Why is it not good to overwork? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 2497
133164 homework 12.12 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 3353
133163 Is your hometown famous for anything? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 3
133162 unit 12. homework ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1
133161 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1319
133160 Should students have the option of grading their teachers? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 0
133159 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Are you afraid... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 2
133158 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04