¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

keeping pets for children

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*ÈÆ
2024-04-11 1626

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think keeping pets for children is good for children. First, they could learn about importance of the life by raising pets. The pets will become children's friend, and they will be always their side. Also they will made children's mental healthy. second, pets can build children's resistance of allergies. I read a reports about allergies. It said children who didn't have a pet got allergies easliy than children who raised one.
In conclusion, the pets could help children's mental, also physical health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Se Hun~!^^ Thank you for doing your homework. It was nice to read your essay~! Keep writing and learning! Have a great day!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think keeping pets for children is good for children.
OR>>> I think keeping pets for children is good for them.
First, they could learn about importance of the life by raising pets. 
>>> First, they could learn about [ the ] importance of life by raising pets. 
The pets will become children's friend, and they will be always their side. 
>>> The pets will become [ the ] children's friend, and they will be always [ by ] their side. 
Also they will made children's mental healthy.
>>> [Moreover], they can help with children's mental health.
Second, pets can build children's resistance of allergies. 
>>> Second, pets can build children's allergy resistant.
 I read a reports about allergies.
>>> CORRECT~! ^^
 It said children who didn't have a pet got allergies easliy than children who raised one.
>>> It is said that children who don't have pets get allergies easily than children who raised one.
In conclusion, the pets could help children's mental, also physical health.
>>> In conclusion, pets may benefit kids' physical as well as mental health.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134092 Should parents help their children plan their future? À±*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1269
134091 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1790
134090 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1072
134089 If you know how to cook what dish will you always cook for... ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1289
134088 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1146
134087 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 0
134086 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What is your... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134085 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134084 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 0
134083 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 928
134082 Do you agree or disagree with the following statemet? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1918
134081 homework 2024-01-22 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134080 What games do you love to play with your friends? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1391
134079 WRITING TASK: Why do you think printed brochures are still... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 8
134078 Most Favorite thing °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1107
134077 Save the earth ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1589
134076 Who are the people you haven¡¯t seen for a while? ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134075 What are the things that are irreplaceable in your life? ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134074 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134073 Inner beauty ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1085

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04