¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

keeping pets for children

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*ÈÆ
2024-04-11 1395

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think keeping pets for children is good for children. First, they could learn about importance of the life by raising pets. The pets will become children's friend, and they will be always their side. Also they will made children's mental healthy. second, pets can build children's resistance of allergies. I read a reports about allergies. It said children who didn't have a pet got allergies easliy than children who raised one.
In conclusion, the pets could help children's mental, also physical health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Se Hun~!^^ Thank you for doing your homework. It was nice to read your essay~! Keep writing and learning! Have a great day!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think keeping pets for children is good for children.
OR>>> I think keeping pets for children is good for them.
First, they could learn about importance of the life by raising pets. 
>>> First, they could learn about [ the ] importance of life by raising pets. 
The pets will become children's friend, and they will be always their side. 
>>> The pets will become [ the ] children's friend, and they will be always [ by ] their side. 
Also they will made children's mental healthy.
>>> [Moreover], they can help with children's mental health.
Second, pets can build children's resistance of allergies. 
>>> Second, pets can build children's allergy resistant.
 I read a reports about allergies.
>>> CORRECT~! ^^
 It said children who didn't have a pet got allergies easliy than children who raised one.
>>> It is said that children who don't have pets get allergies easily than children who raised one.
In conclusion, the pets could help children's mental, also physical health.
>>> In conclusion, pets may benefit kids' physical as well as mental health.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139569 Did you grow up with pets in your home? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 0
139568 What do you like the most about your family? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1191
139567 Would you rather have the perfect body or be super intelligent? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 0
139566 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1
139565 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1288
139564 The things that would give a good first impression ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1334
139563 My feelings after apologizing ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1112
139562 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 974
139561 The best season ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 780
139560 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 994
139559 What is the importance of family? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1
139558 worst ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1
139557 features ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 0
139556 Homework0829 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 869
139555 H.W À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1
139554 )Why do some people hate going to parties? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 2
139553 If you could swap one part of your daily routine with a fun... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 874
139552 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 0
139551 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1003
139550 Would you like to live in your hometown forever? Why or why not? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 986

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04