무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HW

작성자: 나*진
2024-04-09 297

회원님의 영작문

I believe that the most important quality for a game player is the experience of gameplay. There are two main reasons for this: enhancing understanding of both internal and external aspects of games. Firstly, actually playing games makes it easier to understand the internal systems of games. Understanding internal game system allows to understand about the business part of the industry also. For instance, understanding the monetization elements within a game and how content leads to purchasing intentions is crucial for devising business model strategies. This understanding naturally extends to an understanding of the external aspects of games and the gaming industry as a whole. Being a game player allows one to have an interest in new releases, acquire knowledge of where to find information and evaluations of them, and naturally learn which elements of a game garner positive reviews and what genres and games are currently dominant in the gaming market.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Eugene!
This answer effectively highlights the significance of gameplay experience. You effectively did that with transition between points and providing more examples to illustrate your argument. Overall, this would make a great response!
~ Teacher Maxine 

I believe that the most important quality for a game player is the experience of gameplay. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I firmly believe that gameplay experience is the most crucial quality for a game player

There are two main reasons for this: enhancing understanding of both internal and external aspects of games. 
>> CORRECT!

Firstly, actually playing games makes it easier to understand the internal systems of games. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Firstly, playing games directly facilitates a deeper understanding of their internal systems.

Understanding internal game system allows to understand about the business part of the industry also. 
>> Understanding internal game systems allows one to understand the business aspects of the industry as well.

For instance, understanding the monetization elements within a game and how content leads to purchasing intentions is crucial for devising business model strategies. 
>> CORRECT!

This understanding naturally extends to an understanding of the external aspects of games and the gaming industry as a whole. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> This understanding naturally extends to encompass the external aspects of games and the gaming industry as a whole.

Being a game player allows one to have an interest in new releases, acquire knowledge of where to find information and evaluations of them, and naturally learn which elements of a game garner positive reviews and what genres and games are currently dominant in the gaming market.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Being a gamer fosters interest in new releases, knowledge acquisition about where to find information and evaluations, and a natural understanding of elements that garner positive reviews and dominate the gaming market.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
136821 Can you think of any recent innovations in South Korea\'s... 오*솜 완료 2024-04-29 0
136820 The clock 이*규 완료 2024-04-29 447
136819 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-04-29 1
136818 What is Hachiko 황*은 완료 2024-04-29 474
136817 What is your favorite thing to watch on your phone or computer?... 신*규 완료 2024-04-29 933
136816 homework 04.29 최*� 완료 2024-04-29 331
136815 HW 나*진 완료 2024-04-29 369
136814 homework 이*숙 완료 2024-04-29 314
136813 What is the best advice you could everr give someone? 이*윤 완료 2024-04-29 318
136812 Do you think that one day there will be just one language in the... 박*은 완료 2024-04-29 272
136811 What sport is difficult for you? 송*우 완료 2024-04-29 509
136810 2024.04.29 숙제 양*율 완료 2024-04-29 0
136809 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-04-29 541
136808 Would you like to visit Pyramid or a Giza of Egypt? 박*현 완료 2024-04-29 344
136807 Homework 윤*선 완료 2024-04-29 591
136806 That kind of culture is common in other countries where they use... 권*지 완료 2024-04-29 4
136805 What is your favorite thing about yourself? Explain. 최*정 완료 2024-04-29 2
136804 What do you think of black and white photography 최*정 완료 2024-04-29 1
136803 How important is good customer service to the success of a... 이*연 완료 2024-04-29 0
136802 Have you ever had to save anyone from drowning? Would you know... 박*호 완료 2024-04-29 248

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]