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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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How can clothes help us express our culture and identity?

작성자: 박*호
2024-04-09 791

회원님의 영작문

Clothes is one of the three basic elements of human life: food, clothing, and shelter.
Food, clothes, and shelter take on different forms depending on the lives and cultures of people in each region.
As Western civilization rapidly spread to Asian countries, including Korea, clothing culture also became Westernized.
In the past, Korean wore traditional Korean clothing called Hanbok, but today people wear clothes imported from the West, such as suits, shirts, and skirts.
In particular, Hanbok, the traditional Korean costume worn by Koreans during holidays, is evaluated as expressing Korean style.
To encourage the wearing of hanbok, foreigners visiting old palaces in Korea are exempted from admission fees if they wear hanbok.
These days, Hanbok, which is considered stylish but uncomfortable, has been improved to make it more comfortable to wear, so people are increasingly wearing Hanbok in everyday life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Happy Tuesday, Sun! 

People all over the world dress to express themselves and traditional clothing can symbolise history, cultures, and identities. Different designs, colours and patterns can tell an incredible story, show unity, celebrate important events, and preserve cultural heritage.

- Kristine ^^ 

Clothes is one of the three basic elements of human life: food, clothing, and shelter.
>> Clothing is one of the three basic elements of human life: food, clothing, and shelter.
Food, clothes, and shelter take on different forms depending on the lives and cultures of people in each region.
>> Correct.
As Western civilization rapidly spread to Asian countries, including Korea, clothing culture also became Westernized.
>> Clothing culture also became more Westernized as Western culture quickly spread to Asian countries, including Korea.
In the past, Korean wore traditional Korean clothing called Hanbok, but today people wear clothes imported from the West, such as suits, shirts, and skirts.
>> Modern Koreans wear suits, shirts, and skirts that are imported from the west while Hanbok, or traditional Korean clothing, was worn in the past. 
In particular, Hanbok, the traditional Korean costume worn by Koreans during holidays, is evaluated as expressing Korean style.
>> Hanbok, a traditional Korean clothes worn on festivals, has been regarded as a representation of Korean style.
To encourage the wearing of hanbok, foreigners visiting old palaces in Korea are exempted from admission fees if they wear hanbok.
>> In order to promote hanbok, foreigners visiting old palaces in Korea are exempted from admission fees.
These days, Hanbok, which is considered stylish but uncomfortable, has been improved to make it more comfortable to wear, so people are increasingly wearing Hanbok in everyday life.
>> Hanbok is considered stylish but uncomfortable. It has been improved to make it more pleasant to wear everyday.
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