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영작교정 게시판

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Reflect on a challenge you faced and how you overcame it.

작성자: 황*은
2024-04-08 260

회원님의 영작문

I think I have never solved my problem on my own. My biggest problem in my teenage was that I was in difficult in making friends and maintaining relationships. I was afraid of talking to people and I thought people would not like me. So I did many things to overcome this. I did Journaling and meditation, I tried to smile, I did exercises and I took notes about how to behave in front of others and so on. But none of them worked maybe because I didn't do them constantly or maybe it was not a problem that I can solve. I took some medicine and it solved my problem. In conclusion, I didn't solve that problem on my own.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Seong Eun,

I wanted to reach out and express my appreciation for your openness in sharing your experiences. It's not always easy to talk about our challenges, so I commend your courage. Navigating friendships and relationships, especially during our teenage years, can be quite the journey. I'm impressed by the proactive steps you took to overcome these obstacles, such as journaling, meditation, and even making notes on social interactions. Though the solutions you tried didn't yield immediate results, your perseverance shines through. Recognizing when additional support is needed, like seeking medication, reflects a mature understanding of self-care. Your journey is a testament to your resilience and willingness to grow. Remember, progress isn't always linear, and seeking assistance along the way is a sign of strength.

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think I have never solved my problem on my own.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I've never managed to solve my problems independently.

My biggest problem in my teenage was that I was in difficult in making friends and maintaining relationships.

>>My biggest problem in my teenage was that I was having difficulty making friends and maintaining relationships.

I was afraid of talking to people and I thought people would not like me.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Social anxiety plagued me, as I feared rejection and believed others wouldn't accept me.

So I did many things to overcome this.

>>CORRECT

OR>>To tackle this issue, I attempted various strategies.

I did Journaling and meditation, I tried to smile, I did exercises and I took notes about how to behave in front of others and so on.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I experimented with journaling, meditation, smiling more often, engaging in physical exercise, and even studying proper social behavior.

But none of them worked maybe because I didn't do them constantly or maybe it was not a problem that I can solve.

>>But none of them worked maybe because I didn't do them constantly or maybe it was not a problem that I could solve.

I took some medicine and it solved my problem.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Ultimately, I found relief through medication.

In conclusion, I didn't solve that problem on my own.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Hence, I didn't overcome this obstacle on my own.

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