¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why are some people pessimists?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: õ*Àº
2024-04-04 243

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

For my opinion, pessimistic people are made by their experiences, not just naturally born.
We experience many things during living, even though that is bad or good.
Pessimistic people tend to think deeply on the situation and think like pros and cons, consequence.
They want to achieve the best results, and that why some people are pessimists.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Rachel!

It is great to have you back here on the composition page! This time, let us hone your skills more intensively so that you can use them for your future career endeavors.

I totally agree with your ideas. Pessimists can measure and calculate the risks and sometimes go beyond their worries and overact about them. In this way, it may seem negative since they see the dark side of situations. However, if they do not acknowledge the bad side of things, it may also blind them from achieving a clear goal- this may be the downfall of an over optimist.

Nevertheless, a balance of optimism and pessimism is the best combination to live life better.

Take a look at the underscored grammar suggestions below. They are on diction, the determiner 'the', and the linking very 'is". Overall, you did great on this task. Carry on!

See you tomorrow!

-T. Donna~

For my opinion, pessimistic people are made by their experiences, not just naturally born.
>> Correct!

We experience many things during living, even though that is bad or good.
>> We experience many things while living, even though that is bad or good.

Pessimistic people tend to think deeply on the situation and think like pros and cons, consequence.
>> Pessimistic people tend to think deeply on the situation and think about the pros and cons.

They want to achieve the best results, and that why some people are pessimists.
>>  They want to achieve the best results, and that is why some people are pessimists.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136537 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1
136536 Keeping an eye on something ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 277
136535 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 211
136534 How should someone who committed a crime for some good cause be... ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 283
136533 satisfy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 0
136532 What kind of food do you want to make? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 290
136531 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1
136530 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 2
136529 Name something you would like to improve about yourself and why. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 215
136528 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 258
136527 What is your favorite Korean dish? Can you describe how it\'s... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 162
136526 If you can be a celebrity or influencer, which one do you want... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 371
136525 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 355
136524 What¡¯s the best hobby anyone could have? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 285
136523 2024.04.17 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 284
136522 HOMEWORK FOR 04.18.2024 WRITING TASK: What was the most... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 3
136521 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 243
136520 If I leared playing basketball.. ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 357
136519 Do many young people in your country care about eating healthy? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 315
136518 Write 5 sentences that would describe your personality. ±æ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 13

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04