¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you take care of your health?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-04-02 386

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My health-care methods are as follows.
1. I always practice Taekwondo in academy.
2. I eat food evenly.
3. I try eat less unhealthy food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Jimmy!

You can find below the edited composition from yesterday's homework. Please pay attention to the corrections given. 
Speak to you tomorrow!  


Cheers,
Jean~~



                                How do you take care of your health?



My health-care methods are as follows.
>> My health-care methods are as follows:

1. I always practice Taekwondo in academy.
>> I always practice Taekwondo in the Taekwondo center. 

2. I eat food evenly.
>> I have a balanced diet. 

3. I try eat less unhealthy food.
>> I try to eat less unhealthy food. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137784 Do you think it\'s a good idea to write your goals down and tick... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 794
137783 Would you rather have a stressful, high-paying job or a relaxed,... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 585
137782 Knowledge is Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!! À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 495
137781 How do you support others in their goals? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 530
137780 This is because everyone has different environments and... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 613
137779 June 10th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 631
137778 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 0
137777 Hobbies reduce our stress and help us feel happy. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 575
137776 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 750
137775 I\'m satisfied with my life now À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 682
137774 My bad habits ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 15
137773 Modern communication tools ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 725
137772 HOMEWORK DAY 2 ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 915
137771 Do you think it\'s smart to complain or get angry at someone who... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2
137770 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 445
137769 What can you say about the current Ma Dong-seok movie titled... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 556
137768 Share your movie review of the most recent movie you have seen ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 635
137767 What is the difference between friendship and \'kinship\' (blood... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 595
137766 What are some traditional party games in your country? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 591
137765 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 687

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04