¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you take care of your health?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-04-02 409

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My health-care methods are as follows.
1. I always practice Taekwondo in academy.
2. I eat food evenly.
3. I try eat less unhealthy food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Jimmy!

You can find below the edited composition from yesterday's homework. Please pay attention to the corrections given. 
Speak to you tomorrow!  


Cheers,
Jean~~



                                How do you take care of your health?



My health-care methods are as follows.
>> My health-care methods are as follows:

1. I always practice Taekwondo in academy.
>> I always practice Taekwondo in the Taekwondo center. 

2. I eat food evenly.
>> I have a balanced diet. 

3. I try eat less unhealthy food.
>> I try to eat less unhealthy food. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138205 Why do you think people buy pirated products? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 920
138204 What are your thoughts on piracy, such as downloading movies or... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 734
138203 In what ways are dogs helpful to humans? Explain. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 695
138202 How do you celebrate small successes or milestones as you... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 555
138201 Do you think the government should always check the prices and... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 896
138200 June 28th homehork ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 588
138199 What is the best place for a vacation in your country? Why is it... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 2
138198 Q) What do you think of people who always work out? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 4
138197 One thing that I want to change about our culture ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 7
138196 Do you agree with the saying \'The customer is always right\'?... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 630
138195 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 0
138194 What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in the... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 604
138193 Are all-you-can-eat restaurants better than buffet restaurants?... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 463
138192 6/28 Homework ±Ç*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 1
138191 What is a delectable food you\'ve tasted that you cannot forget? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 604
138190 What is the most difficult circumstance you have had to... ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 0
138189 How do white lies impact trust and relationships, and where... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 616
138188 HOMEWORK FOR 06.26.2024 WRITING TASK: What device or appliance... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 2
138187 HOMEWORK FOR 06.27.2024 WRITING TASK: What is the most famous... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 2
138186 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 594

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04