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영작교정 게시판

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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What is the importance of voting in an election?

작성자: 이*윤
2024-04-01 669

회원님의 영작문

In Korea, voting is encouraged.
The reason is that elections are a device that represents democracy and are the only way to elect representatives with your own hands.
For me, voting was proof of being an adult.
In Korea, the right to vote is given from the age of 18 or older, because I have been an adult and have voted for the first time.
Also, I think it is important because it's vote to be able to change representatives by showing the psychology of the people accurately and quickly with a small vote, although we can't save the world and change the world like the heroes in the story.
If the people vote for the same party as the president, it means that the president is running the state affairs well, and he chose to give the president a stronger power.
On the contrary, the president is running the state affairs poorly, and the people's will to judge the regime can be conveyed through a vote.
That's why we encourage voters to vote and say that voting is important.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Yun!
Your country will have its election next week. I hope for a peaceful and fair election. 
Chammy
In Korea, voting is encouraged.
The reason is that elections are a device that represents democracy and are the only way to elect representatives with your own hands.
For me, voting was proof of being an adult.
In Korea, the right to vote is given from the age of 18 or older, because I have been an adult and have voted for the first time.
>>Correct 
Also, I think it is important because it's vote to be able to change representatives by showing the psychology of the people accurately and quickly with a small vote, although we can't save the world and change the world like the heroes in the story.
>> Also, I think it is important because it's a vote to be able to change representatives by showing the psychology of the people accurately and quickly with a small vote, although we can't save the world and change the world like the heroes in the story
OR
>>Also, I believe it is essential because it allows us to make an impact on legislators by properly and quickly demonstrating the thoughts and decisions of the people, even if we cannot save the world or transform it like the heroes in the story.
If the people vote for the same party as the president, it means that the president is running the state affairs well, and he chose to give the president a stronger power.
>>If the people vote for the same party as the president, it means that the president is running state affairs well, and he chose to give the president stronger power.
On the contrary, the president is running state affairs poorly, and the people's will to judge the regime can be conveyed through a vote.
That's why we encourage voters to vote and say that voting is important.
>>Correct 
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