¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that a kid\'s accomplishment is the parent\'s accomplishment as well? Why or Why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áö
2024-04-01 1552

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree that a kid's accomplishment is the parent's accomplishment as well. Most kids gain senses of accomplishment through their growth from birth. They can make eye contact with their parents, turn their bodies upside down, sit down, stand, walk, and run. In this process, their parents feel a sense of accomplishment as well. In addition, children experience emotions of joy, anger, love, sadness, and despair in their lives, and parents also feel these emotions and grow up together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jamie,
It was nice reading your composition. You did well! :)
~ T. Demi ^^

I agree that a kid's accomplishment is the parent's accomplishment as well. 

CORRECT!
Most kids gain senses of accomplishment through their growth from birth. 
>> Most kids gain a sense of accomplishment through their growth from birth.
They can make eye contact with their parents, turn their bodies upside down, sit down, stand, walk, and run.
CORRECT!
In this process, their parents feel a sense of accomplishment as well. 
CORRECT!
OR>> This process also brings a sense of accomplishment to their parents.
In addition, children experience emotions of joy, anger, love, sadness, and despair in their lives, and parents also feel these emotions and grow up together.
>> In addition, children experience a range of emotions including joy, anger, love, sadness, and despair in their lives, and parents also share these emotions as they grow together.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133606 HOMEWORK FOR 01.02.2024 WRITING TASK: Do you like stretching?... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 3
133605 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1
133604 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1338
133603 Is technology making people smarter or dumber? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1595
133602 Do you think most music (say 90%) is rubbish? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1184
133601 Would you like to travel alone someday? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1077
133600 What are your goals for this year? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1000
133599 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1088
133598 What New Year\'s resolutions are you still keeping now? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1293
133597 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 2
133596 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1
133595 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 2
133594 Do you recommend a Social Welfare program to all schools? Why? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 7
133593 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 973
133592 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1820
133591 Homework : unit 17 ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1
133590 New Year performance ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 2415
133589 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1702
133588 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1300
133587 The special greeting in Korea ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1105

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04