¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that a kid\'s accomplishment is the parent\'s accomplishment as well? Why or Why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áö
2024-04-01 1490

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree that a kid's accomplishment is the parent's accomplishment as well. Most kids gain senses of accomplishment through their growth from birth. They can make eye contact with their parents, turn their bodies upside down, sit down, stand, walk, and run. In this process, their parents feel a sense of accomplishment as well. In addition, children experience emotions of joy, anger, love, sadness, and despair in their lives, and parents also feel these emotions and grow up together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jamie,
It was nice reading your composition. You did well! :)
~ T. Demi ^^

I agree that a kid's accomplishment is the parent's accomplishment as well. 

CORRECT!
Most kids gain senses of accomplishment through their growth from birth. 
>> Most kids gain a sense of accomplishment through their growth from birth.
They can make eye contact with their parents, turn their bodies upside down, sit down, stand, walk, and run.
CORRECT!
In this process, their parents feel a sense of accomplishment as well. 
CORRECT!
OR>> This process also brings a sense of accomplishment to their parents.
In addition, children experience emotions of joy, anger, love, sadness, and despair in their lives, and parents also feel these emotions and grow up together.
>> In addition, children experience a range of emotions including joy, anger, love, sadness, and despair in their lives, and parents also share these emotions as they grow together.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134237 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1
134236 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1572
134235 Share some of the beauty standards in Korea. Do you agree with... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1521
134234 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1167
134233 What do you do when you are tired? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1093
134232 Supporting my opinion ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1545
134231 Would you rather be rich and unhappy or poor and happy? ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 750
134230 Holiday ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 2
134229 1/24 homework ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 3
134228 Which viewpoint do you agree with? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1107
134227 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 867
134226 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 921
134225 What do you consider first when buying appliances? ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 0
134224 Do you share problems with your friends? Why or Why not? ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 0
134223 It\'like to become friend more than enslave. °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 971
134222 If you possessed a time machine ? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 3
134221 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1
134220 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 0
134219 WRITING TASK: If you could go to the Vatican, what would be your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 2
134218 Importance of having a hobby ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 724

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04