¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that a kid\'s accomplishment is the parent\'s accomplishment as well? Why or Why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áö
2024-04-01 1446

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree that a kid's accomplishment is the parent's accomplishment as well. Most kids gain senses of accomplishment through their growth from birth. They can make eye contact with their parents, turn their bodies upside down, sit down, stand, walk, and run. In this process, their parents feel a sense of accomplishment as well. In addition, children experience emotions of joy, anger, love, sadness, and despair in their lives, and parents also feel these emotions and grow up together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jamie,
It was nice reading your composition. You did well! :)
~ T. Demi ^^

I agree that a kid's accomplishment is the parent's accomplishment as well. 

CORRECT!
Most kids gain senses of accomplishment through their growth from birth. 
>> Most kids gain a sense of accomplishment through their growth from birth.
They can make eye contact with their parents, turn their bodies upside down, sit down, stand, walk, and run.
CORRECT!
In this process, their parents feel a sense of accomplishment as well. 
CORRECT!
OR>> This process also brings a sense of accomplishment to their parents.
In addition, children experience emotions of joy, anger, love, sadness, and despair in their lives, and parents also feel these emotions and grow up together.
>> In addition, children experience a range of emotions including joy, anger, love, sadness, and despair in their lives, and parents also share these emotions as they grow together.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134722 Giving a hand ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1
134721 Have you ever helped a friend when they really needed help ?... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 917
134720 Hiring part-time instructors ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1333
134719 what do you think of leaves ±è*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1238
134718 homework 02.15 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 705
134717 Suggestions on my life ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 925
134716 Choose holidays ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1211
134715 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1195
134714 My best about holidays ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1833
134713 If you could spend a day with any fictional character, who would... ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 943
134712 How do you find the best restaurants to eat at? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 771
134711 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 972
134710 Why do you think it is important to save money? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 952
134709 What was your favorite subject? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 888
134708 What is your favorite amusement park ride? Why do you like it? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1161
134707 If you could spend a day with any fictional character, who would... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1456
134706 How can part-time jobs during high school or college provide... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 1069
134705 Discuss a memorable experience you had while traveling. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 742
134704 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 744
134703 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 121

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04