¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that a kid\'s accomplishment is the parent\'s accomplishment as well? Why or Why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áö
2024-04-01 700

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree that a kid's accomplishment is the parent's accomplishment as well. Most kids gain senses of accomplishment through their growth from birth. They can make eye contact with their parents, turn their bodies upside down, sit down, stand, walk, and run. In this process, their parents feel a sense of accomplishment as well. In addition, children experience emotions of joy, anger, love, sadness, and despair in their lives, and parents also feel these emotions and grow up together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jamie,
It was nice reading your composition. You did well! :)
~ T. Demi ^^

I agree that a kid's accomplishment is the parent's accomplishment as well. 

CORRECT!
Most kids gain senses of accomplishment through their growth from birth. 
>> Most kids gain a sense of accomplishment through their growth from birth.
They can make eye contact with their parents, turn their bodies upside down, sit down, stand, walk, and run.
CORRECT!
In this process, their parents feel a sense of accomplishment as well. 
CORRECT!
OR>> This process also brings a sense of accomplishment to their parents.
In addition, children experience emotions of joy, anger, love, sadness, and despair in their lives, and parents also feel these emotions and grow up together.
>> In addition, children experience a range of emotions including joy, anger, love, sadness, and despair in their lives, and parents also share these emotions as they grow together.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133842 Don\'t waste clothes ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 387
133841 Do you think art is necessary in our life? Why? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 413
133840 If you are in a non-English foreign country (Thailand/ Vietnam),... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 669
133839 Is there something you regret buying? Why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 413
133838 How can you divide your time effectively between work and... ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 1
133837 DIRECTIONS: Please fill in the blanks with right tag questions. ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 2
133836 Free writing ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 479
133835 Free writing ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 374
133834 Filling in blanks ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 355
133833 Where do you prefer to live, downtown or suburb? Why? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 4
133832 Filling in blanks ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 517
133831 Is it better to play sport competitively or just for fun? È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 246
133830 Disadvantages of getting tours ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 220
133829 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 0
133828 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 0
133827 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 51
133826 What is your stance on standardized tests? Do you think they... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 3
133825 How can we have a good night¡¯s sleep? What do you do? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 277
133824 homework 01.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 239
133823 What was the hardest part of the past week for you? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 314

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04