¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think you\'re a naturally hard-working person? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Àº
2024-03-29 378

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think I'm naturally hard-working person. I resembled my father. He is perfectionist and really good at self-control.
But I guess I have been affected by environment too. When I was young, my dad got upset easily. He scolded me and my brother hard even for small things. For example, when we put down chopsticks loudly or roll the dices to the wrong place when we play board games, he got angry. I think that may affected me to become a perfectionist. But now my dad hardly gets upset and I'm not a perfectionist anymore, which shows the fact that environment has also affected to my personality.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seong Eun,

First, I want to take a few moments to commend you for your hard work on your homework. One can tell that you genuinely put thought into how to express yourself. The part of your own personality traits and the power of your environment are fantastic. I appreciate how you delve into the behavior of your father and how you relate to him. Understanding oneself is a crucial step toward personal growth, and it's clear that you're well on your way to self-awareness and self-transformation. Continue to delve into and learn about yourself - it's a journey that never truly ends. Your dedication to this process is commendable. Keep up the excellent work!

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think I'm naturally hard-working person.

>>I think I'm a naturally hard-working person.

I resembled my father.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I was like my father.

He is perfectionist and really good at self-control.

>>He is a perfectionist and really good at self-control.

But I guess I have been affected by environment too.

>>But I guess I have been affected by the environment too.

When I was young, my dad got upset easily.

>>CORRECT

OR>>When I was a child, my father got angry quickly.

He scolded me and my brother hard even for small things.

>>CORRECT

OR>>He scolded my brother and I a lot, even over petty things.

For example, when we put down chopsticks loudly or roll the dices to the wrong place when we play board games, he got angry.

>>For example, when we put down chopsticks loudly or roll the dice to the wrong place when we played board games, he got angry.

I think that may affected me to become a perfectionist.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I believe that might have made me a perfectionist.

But now my dad hardly gets upset and I'm not a perfectionist anymore, which shows the fact that environment has also affected to my personality.

>>But now my dad hardly gets upset and I'm not a perfectionist anymore, which shows the fact that the environment has also affected my personality.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138027 People who I get along with best ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 4
138026 Among the places you have visited, which was your least... ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 459
138025 HOMEWORK FOR 06.18.2024 WRITING TASK: What are good activities... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 2
138024 Is mental health more important than physical health? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 2
138023 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 1
138022 Try to be a man of value ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 471
138021 Why is it necessary to advertise? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 312
138020 What are the disadvantages of having diverse options at a... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 578
138019 Do you think Korean meals are healthy? Why or why not? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 533
138018 Who else is better than Mr. Yun as a president? Explain your... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-23 497
138017 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-23 1
138016 I want to know these sentences are grammatically correct or not! °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-23 492
138015 Are you a helpful person? Explain your answer. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-23 551
138014 First greeting for meeting ÀÌ*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-23 5
138013 Homework ÃÖ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-23 2
138012 How important is salary to you when considering a job offer? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-22 492
138011 Would you let a stranger borrow something from you? Why? Why not? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-22 1
138010 What is your least favorite game? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-22 521
138009 What influenced your choice of job? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-22 549
138008 Essay homework ÀÌ*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 539

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04