¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.28

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-28 1385

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What positive things can the world learn from your country?

It's a long time since I introduce the positive parts of our country.
My country also has advantages and positive things, but the media and other things always showed only the negative side.
For example, an American writer posted a video about Korea title " The most depressed country in the world".
I'm also agree, I think a lot of people's mental theses days are has anger, sensitive, and easily get depression more than before.
But, I want to find positive(advantages) things and let many people know.
This time I'll introduce the Public transport system in South Korea.
This system is even if I transfer several times, I can use public transportation at a low price.
And, we can go to most of metropolitan area use the bus and subway.
In addition, high-speed railways has completed, we can move from suburban areas to the center of Seoul very quickly.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What positive things can the world learn from your country?


It's a long time since I introduce the positive parts of our country.
>> It's been a long time since I introduced the positive parts of our country.
My country also has advantages and positive things, but the media and other things always showed only the negative side.
>> CORRECT!
For example, an American writer posted a video about Korea title " The most depressed country in the world".
>> For example, an American writer posted a video about South Korea entitled " The most depressed country in the world".
I'm also agree, I think a lot of people's mental theses days are has anger, sensitive, and easily get depression more than before.
>> I also agree, I think a lot of people's mindset these days include anger, sensitivity, and depression more than before.
But, I want to find positive(advantages) things and let many people know.
>> CORRECT!
This time I'll introduce the Public transport system in South Korea.
>> CORRECT!
This system is even if I transfer several times, I can use public transportation at a low price.
>> This transportation system is good because even if I transfer several times, I can use the public transportation at a low price.
And, we can go to most of metropolitan area use the bus and subway.
>> And, we can go to most metropolitan areas using the bus and subway.
In addition, high-speed railways has completed, we can move from suburban areas to the center of Seoul very quickly.
>> In addition, high-speed railways are completed, we can move from suburban areas to the center of Seoul very quickly.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138406 Parent and children ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 1062
138405 2024.07.09 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 843
138404 Today\'s my homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 940
138403 Today\'s my homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 831
138402 Today\'s my homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 796
138401 Today\'s my homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 785
138400 Do you think electricity is the greatest invention ever? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 933
138399 2024.07.10 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 1
138398 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 726
138397 Advertisment ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 2
138396 How should one respond to questions during an interview? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 772
138395 What are some rude gestures in your country? ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 811
138394 nervous ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 1
138393 New Invention ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 3
138392 Page.13 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 0
138391 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 851
138390 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 732
138389 Homework À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 1
138388 Homework ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 0
138387 HOMEWORK FOR 07.10.2024 WRITING TASK: Why do things slip our... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04