¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.28

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-28 785

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What positive things can the world learn from your country?

It's a long time since I introduce the positive parts of our country.
My country also has advantages and positive things, but the media and other things always showed only the negative side.
For example, an American writer posted a video about Korea title " The most depressed country in the world".
I'm also agree, I think a lot of people's mental theses days are has anger, sensitive, and easily get depression more than before.
But, I want to find positive(advantages) things and let many people know.
This time I'll introduce the Public transport system in South Korea.
This system is even if I transfer several times, I can use public transportation at a low price.
And, we can go to most of metropolitan area use the bus and subway.
In addition, high-speed railways has completed, we can move from suburban areas to the center of Seoul very quickly.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What positive things can the world learn from your country?


It's a long time since I introduce the positive parts of our country.
>> It's been a long time since I introduced the positive parts of our country.
My country also has advantages and positive things, but the media and other things always showed only the negative side.
>> CORRECT!
For example, an American writer posted a video about Korea title " The most depressed country in the world".
>> For example, an American writer posted a video about South Korea entitled " The most depressed country in the world".
I'm also agree, I think a lot of people's mental theses days are has anger, sensitive, and easily get depression more than before.
>> I also agree, I think a lot of people's mindset these days include anger, sensitivity, and depression more than before.
But, I want to find positive(advantages) things and let many people know.
>> CORRECT!
This time I'll introduce the Public transport system in South Korea.
>> CORRECT!
This system is even if I transfer several times, I can use public transportation at a low price.
>> This transportation system is good because even if I transfer several times, I can use the public transportation at a low price.
And, we can go to most of metropolitan area use the bus and subway.
>> And, we can go to most metropolitan areas using the bus and subway.
In addition, high-speed railways has completed, we can move from suburban areas to the center of Seoul very quickly.
>> In addition, high-speed railways are completed, we can move from suburban areas to the center of Seoul very quickly.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139993 Sep 20th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 148
139992 What do you like least about Chuseok? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 2
139991 Why do you think some people spend money on buying souvenirs... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 1
139990 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 3
139989 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 0
139988 Have you even seen falling stars? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 164
139987 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 209
139986 New features ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 189
139985 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 276
139984 No ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 93
139983 If you were President of Korea, what would you do to improve... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 0
139982 Homework_Day5 (Q. How do you find the best restaurants to eat... ·ù*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 314
139981 what is the most difficult things about learning english? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 291
139980 hello ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1
139979 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1
139978 Write about a memorable holiday experience. ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 311
139977 My MBTI ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 408
139976 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 188
139975 gab year ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1
139974 luggage ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04