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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My advice about life to elementary students

작성자: 김*민
2024-03-28 666

회원님의 영작문

First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.
This advice results from my experience. I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.
But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!
Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great work, Min! You have written a very meaningful answer in your homework. I believe that these realizations and advice will really help a young person.
-Khai
First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
>> First, I want to tell my kids that, "life is not in the order of grades," so you don't have to only focus on studying.

But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. 

>> But I have to emphasize the importance of studying how to socialize with friends.

For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

>> CORRECT

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.

>> Second, I want to give the advice that your dream may not come true, and your life may not go your way.

This advice results from my experience. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> This advice was based on my experience.

I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.

>> CORRECT

But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!

>> But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare, despite the fact that I didn't work as a social worker!

Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. 

>> Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well and study hard to achieve your dreams.

And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

>> And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who does your best at any given task.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

>> And last, I emphasize that I hope you will be safe and healthy your whole life!


번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
138500 difficult task/project at work 최*정 완료 2024-07-15 8
138499 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-07-15 504
138498 What matters to you the most, intelligence or physical... 이*윤 완료 2024-07-15 567
138497 My current job 한*자 완료 2024-07-15 6
138496 Page.21 김*진 완료 2024-07-15 7
138495 If you could change one thing about your culture, what would it... 권*지 완료 2024-07-15 2
138494 How can you divide your time effectively between work and leisure 권*지 완료 2024-07-15 1
138493 How does reading novels enrich your understanding of human... 박*호 완료 2024-07-15 483
138492 HOMEWORK 정*환 완료 2024-07-15 512
138491 How important is a person\'s appearance? 황*은 완료 2024-07-15 511
138490 Homework 오*봄 완료 2024-07-14 1
138489 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-07-14 1
138488 If you had time and money, how would you spend your weekend. 차*혁 완료 2024-07-14 479
138487 dependable 민*정 완료 2024-07-14 4
138486 At what age do you think a person should be allowed to have a... 김*주 완료 2024-07-14 450
138485 What do you think is the best time for a kid to sleep? Explain. 차*진 완료 2024-07-14 473
138484 Do you think it is more important to make a lot of money or to... 김*환 완료 2024-07-14 416
138483 HOMEWORK 주*민 완료 2024-07-14 526
138482 HOMEWORK 주*민 완료 2024-07-14 395
138481 HOMEWORK 주*민 완료 2024-07-14 550

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