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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My advice about life to elementary students

작성자: 김*민
2024-03-28 1383

회원님의 영작문

First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.
This advice results from my experience. I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.
But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!
Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great work, Min! You have written a very meaningful answer in your homework. I believe that these realizations and advice will really help a young person.
-Khai
First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
>> First, I want to tell my kids that, "life is not in the order of grades," so you don't have to only focus on studying.

But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. 

>> But I have to emphasize the importance of studying how to socialize with friends.

For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

>> CORRECT

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.

>> Second, I want to give the advice that your dream may not come true, and your life may not go your way.

This advice results from my experience. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> This advice was based on my experience.

I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.

>> CORRECT

But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!

>> But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare, despite the fact that I didn't work as a social worker!

Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. 

>> Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well and study hard to achieve your dreams.

And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

>> And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who does your best at any given task.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

>> And last, I emphasize that I hope you will be safe and healthy your whole life!


번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
136153 HW 나*진 완료 2024-04-05 733
136152 What’s the best hobby anyone could have? 권*임 완료 2024-04-05 0
136151 How does social media affect people\'s self-esteem? Share your... 이*태 완료 2024-04-05 1269
136150 Tell me about the most fashionable person you know? 박*호 완료 2024-04-05 753
136149 Does the weather affect your mood? Please explain. 이*태 완료 2024-04-05 1103
136148 Do you believe it\'s better to pursue passion-driven career... 이*태 완료 2024-04-05 1026
136147 homework 장*석 완료 2024-04-05 1108
136146 Do you prefer beach vacations or mountain getaways? Why? 이*태 완료 2024-04-05 792
136145 How do you maintain your good skills? 권*지 완료 2024-04-05 2
136144 Missed investments 양*연 완료 2024-04-05 878
136143 HOMEWORK 박*은 완료 2024-04-05 0
136142 HOMEWORK 박*은 완료 2024-04-05 0
136141 Homework 권*윤 완료 2024-04-05 1
136140 homework 유*린 완료 2024-04-04 1382
136139 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-04-04 1
136138 What festivals do you enjoy? 진*호 완료 2024-04-04 3
136137 Page.37 김*진 완료 2024-04-04 2
136136 What do you usually order in your favorite restaurant? 맹*영 완료 2024-04-04 1164
136135 Homework 장*혁 완료 2024-04-04 1102
136134 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-04-04 1

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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