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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My advice about life to elementary students

작성자: 김*민
2024-03-28 533

회원님의 영작문

First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.
This advice results from my experience. I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.
But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!
Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great work, Min! You have written a very meaningful answer in your homework. I believe that these realizations and advice will really help a young person.
-Khai
First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
>> First, I want to tell my kids that, "life is not in the order of grades," so you don't have to only focus on studying.

But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. 

>> But I have to emphasize the importance of studying how to socialize with friends.

For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

>> CORRECT

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.

>> Second, I want to give the advice that your dream may not come true, and your life may not go your way.

This advice results from my experience. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> This advice was based on my experience.

I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.

>> CORRECT

But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!

>> But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare, despite the fact that I didn't work as a social worker!

Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. 

>> Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well and study hard to achieve your dreams.

And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

>> And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who does your best at any given task.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

>> And last, I emphasize that I hope you will be safe and healthy your whole life!


번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
134826 Homework 윤*선 완료 2024-02-20 130
134825 Children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 임*선 완료 2024-02-20 249
134824 About Korea society 고*호 완료 2024-02-20 153
134823 My daily routine 강*수 완료 2024-02-20 226
134822 Do you ever worry about the safety of the rides at the amusement... 박*현 완료 2024-02-20 176
134821 What fears do you have for the future? 신*섭 완료 2024-02-20 410
134820 Do you think property is always a good investment? 권*지 완료 2024-02-20 4
134819 Is there any development with your \'friendship\' with IH? 송*진 완료 2024-02-20 1
134818 homework 이*수 완료 2024-02-20 1
134817 If you have the chance to learn another language, what would it... 천*은 완료 2024-02-20 266
134816 What do you think of people who don\'t go to the dentist ? 박*호 완료 2024-02-20 231
134815 Write about something you regret having done 임*호 완료 2024-02-20 0
134814 If you were going to implement an ordinance, what would it be? 황*은 완료 2024-02-20 449
134813 How long should we know before we get married? 양*연 완료 2024-02-20 187
134812 homework 유*린 완료 2024-02-19 214
134811 homework 유*린 완료 2024-02-19 350
134810 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-02-19 2
134809 People you can always count on 이*규 완료 2024-02-19 226
134808 What advantage do you believe entry-level applicants have when... 이*윤 완료 2024-02-19 298
134807 Homework 김*원 완료 2024-02-19 283

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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04

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