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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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My advice about life to elementary students

작성자: 김*민
2024-03-28 1677

회원님의 영작문

First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.
This advice results from my experience. I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.
But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!
Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great work, Min! You have written a very meaningful answer in your homework. I believe that these realizations and advice will really help a young person.
-Khai
First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
>> First, I want to tell my kids that, "life is not in the order of grades," so you don't have to only focus on studying.

But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. 

>> But I have to emphasize the importance of studying how to socialize with friends.

For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

>> CORRECT

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.

>> Second, I want to give the advice that your dream may not come true, and your life may not go your way.

This advice results from my experience. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> This advice was based on my experience.

I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.

>> CORRECT

But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!

>> But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare, despite the fact that I didn't work as a social worker!

Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. 

>> Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well and study hard to achieve your dreams.

And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

>> And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who does your best at any given task.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

>> And last, I emphasize that I hope you will be safe and healthy your whole life!


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139510 The reason why some people prefer imported products 한*자 완료 2024-08-28 5
139509 Do you think you should tip the staff in restaurants? Why or why... 진*호 완료 2024-08-27 3
139508 HOMEWORK 홍*선 완료 2024-08-27 0
139507 Homework 오*봄 완료 2024-08-27 1
139506 HOMEWORK: Use these words in sentences. 1. Tour guide. 2. neck... 김*진 완료 2024-08-27 2
139505 The positive side of \"Is history as a subject in school... 손*희 완료 2024-08-27 969
139504 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-08-27 0
139503 Homework 3 위*아 완료 2024-08-27 13
139502 Who do you think is the best author in Korea or the world? 차*진 완료 2024-08-27 1073
139501 Do your ever give up waiting for people who are late? How long... 차*혁 완료 2024-08-27 1022
139500 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-08-27 4
139499 homework 심*진 완료 2024-08-27 0
139498 My hobby is to play basketball 신*라 완료 2024-08-27 1083
139497 Homework 김*숙 완료 2024-08-27 1058
139496 Homework 송*민 완료 2024-08-27 1
139495 People on a diet 이*규 완료 2024-08-27 1369
139494 What did you do at a cafe? 김*빈 완료 2024-08-27 4
139493 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-08-27 1092

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