¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The implication of having an aging population.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-03-28 385

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We talked about this issues at the class on March 28 :) But I want to express my opinions more.

The increasing of population the elderly and decreasing of birthrate are very serious social issues in Korea.
I think aging phenomenon in Korea is serious when I realized that amount of my pension will be small after retirement even if I pay a lot of pension premium :(

But I think Korean government don't try to make fundamental solutions. I was very shocked that government announced a policy of hiring foreign domestic workers to solve the low birthrate!

In Korea, gender salary gap is the most severe among the OECD countries and the unemployment rate of women is higher than that of men.
Also I think that the social atmosphere in which husbands don't help with childcare is one of the key reasons of for the decline in birth rates.
Therefore, I insist the fundamental solution of increasing birthrate is improving Korean's gender sensitivity.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

I want to clap as I am very impressed with your answer, Min. ^^ It¡¯s very rare nowadays that people like you would analyze these social dilemmas. Amazing and fantastic work!
-Khai

We talked about this issues at the class on March 28 :) 

>> CORRECT

But I want to express my opinions more.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> However, I would like to share more of what I think.

The increasing of population the elderly and decreasing of birthrate are very serious social issues in Korea.

>> The increase in the elderly population and the decrease in birthrate are very serous social issues in Korea.

I think aging phenomenon in Korea is serious when I realized that amount of my pension will be small after retirement even if I pay a lot of pension premium :(

>> I think the aging phenomenon in Korea is serious. I realized that the amount of my pension will be small after my retirement, even if I pay the premium. :(

But I think Korean government don't try to make fundamental solutions. 

>> But I think the Korean government doesn¡¯t think about this and doesn¡¯t try to find fundamental solutions.

I was very shocked that government announced a policy of hiring foreign domestic workers to solve the low birthrate!

>> CORRECT

In Korea, gender salary gap is the most severe among the OECD countries and the unemployment rate of women is higher than that of men.

>> In Korea, the gender salary gap is the most severe among the OECD countries, and the unemployment rate of women is higher than that of men.

Also I think that the social atmosphere in which husbands don't help with childcare is one of the key reasons of for the decline in birth rates.

>> Also, I think that the social atmosphere in which husbands don't help with childcare is one of the key reasons for the decline in birth rates.

Therefore, I insist the fundamental solution of increasing birthrate is improving Korean's gender sensitivity.

>> Therefore, I insist the fundamental solution to increasing birthrate is improving Korean's gender sensitivity.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138335 Homework ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 0
138334 East sea and mountains ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 452
138333 Can you describe a piece of music that has a special meaning to... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 557
138332 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 570
138331 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 524
138330 What are the pros and cons of e-readers compared to paper books? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 604
138329 My opinion about Having a car and bublic transportation ÀÌ*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-08 3
138328 Homework ½Å*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-07 6
138327 Homework À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-07 597
138326 Expectations from the class ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-07 506
138325 In which jobs do people have to make very quick decisions based... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-07 1
138324 What do you usually do after our English class? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-07 1267
138323 The benefits of wearing uniforms in school ÀÌ*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-07-07 1
138322 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-07 0
138321 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-07 1
138320 Are there any disadvantages to being intelligent? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-07 588
138319 What do you see in the market near your house? Describe the... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-07 611
138318 Do you like to talk to the local people when you travel? Why or... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-07 0
138317 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-06 549
138316 Which one is better maratang or fried chicken? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-06 488

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04