¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The implication of having an aging population.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-03-28 243

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We talked about this issues at the class on March 28 :) But I want to express my opinions more.

The increasing of population the elderly and decreasing of birthrate are very serious social issues in Korea.
I think aging phenomenon in Korea is serious when I realized that amount of my pension will be small after retirement even if I pay a lot of pension premium :(

But I think Korean government don't try to make fundamental solutions. I was very shocked that government announced a policy of hiring foreign domestic workers to solve the low birthrate!

In Korea, gender salary gap is the most severe among the OECD countries and the unemployment rate of women is higher than that of men.
Also I think that the social atmosphere in which husbands don't help with childcare is one of the key reasons of for the decline in birth rates.
Therefore, I insist the fundamental solution of increasing birthrate is improving Korean's gender sensitivity.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

I want to clap as I am very impressed with your answer, Min. ^^ It¡¯s very rare nowadays that people like you would analyze these social dilemmas. Amazing and fantastic work!
-Khai

We talked about this issues at the class on March 28 :) 

>> CORRECT

But I want to express my opinions more.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> However, I would like to share more of what I think.

The increasing of population the elderly and decreasing of birthrate are very serious social issues in Korea.

>> The increase in the elderly population and the decrease in birthrate are very serous social issues in Korea.

I think aging phenomenon in Korea is serious when I realized that amount of my pension will be small after retirement even if I pay a lot of pension premium :(

>> I think the aging phenomenon in Korea is serious. I realized that the amount of my pension will be small after my retirement, even if I pay the premium. :(

But I think Korean government don't try to make fundamental solutions. 

>> But I think the Korean government doesn¡¯t think about this and doesn¡¯t try to find fundamental solutions.

I was very shocked that government announced a policy of hiring foreign domestic workers to solve the low birthrate!

>> CORRECT

In Korea, gender salary gap is the most severe among the OECD countries and the unemployment rate of women is higher than that of men.

>> In Korea, the gender salary gap is the most severe among the OECD countries, and the unemployment rate of women is higher than that of men.

Also I think that the social atmosphere in which husbands don't help with childcare is one of the key reasons of for the decline in birth rates.

>> Also, I think that the social atmosphere in which husbands don't help with childcare is one of the key reasons for the decline in birth rates.

Therefore, I insist the fundamental solution of increasing birthrate is improving Korean's gender sensitivity.

>> Therefore, I insist the fundamental solution to increasing birthrate is improving Korean's gender sensitivity.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135322 What do you think is the best gadget existing? Why? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2
135321 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2
135320 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2
135319 Do you think stars have masical power? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 294
135318 Nightlife ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 326
135317 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 610
135316 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 3
135315 What are the benefits of learning a second language? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2
135314 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is wearing... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1
135313 Do you enjoy cooking healthy meals? Why or why not? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 145
135312 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 311
135311 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 188
135310 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 222
135309 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 239
135308 How do you think transportation will change in the future? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 286
135307 homework ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1
135306 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 506
135305 the biggest challenge or struggle °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 451
135304 Discuss the importance of friendship in your life. Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 526
135303 Best known ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04