¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The implication of having an aging population.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-03-28 251

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We talked about this issues at the class on March 28 :) But I want to express my opinions more.

The increasing of population the elderly and decreasing of birthrate are very serious social issues in Korea.
I think aging phenomenon in Korea is serious when I realized that amount of my pension will be small after retirement even if I pay a lot of pension premium :(

But I think Korean government don't try to make fundamental solutions. I was very shocked that government announced a policy of hiring foreign domestic workers to solve the low birthrate!

In Korea, gender salary gap is the most severe among the OECD countries and the unemployment rate of women is higher than that of men.
Also I think that the social atmosphere in which husbands don't help with childcare is one of the key reasons of for the decline in birth rates.
Therefore, I insist the fundamental solution of increasing birthrate is improving Korean's gender sensitivity.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

I want to clap as I am very impressed with your answer, Min. ^^ It¡¯s very rare nowadays that people like you would analyze these social dilemmas. Amazing and fantastic work!
-Khai

We talked about this issues at the class on March 28 :) 

>> CORRECT

But I want to express my opinions more.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> However, I would like to share more of what I think.

The increasing of population the elderly and decreasing of birthrate are very serious social issues in Korea.

>> The increase in the elderly population and the decrease in birthrate are very serous social issues in Korea.

I think aging phenomenon in Korea is serious when I realized that amount of my pension will be small after retirement even if I pay a lot of pension premium :(

>> I think the aging phenomenon in Korea is serious. I realized that the amount of my pension will be small after my retirement, even if I pay the premium. :(

But I think Korean government don't try to make fundamental solutions. 

>> But I think the Korean government doesn¡¯t think about this and doesn¡¯t try to find fundamental solutions.

I was very shocked that government announced a policy of hiring foreign domestic workers to solve the low birthrate!

>> CORRECT

In Korea, gender salary gap is the most severe among the OECD countries and the unemployment rate of women is higher than that of men.

>> In Korea, the gender salary gap is the most severe among the OECD countries, and the unemployment rate of women is higher than that of men.

Also I think that the social atmosphere in which husbands don't help with childcare is one of the key reasons of for the decline in birth rates.

>> Also, I think that the social atmosphere in which husbands don't help with childcare is one of the key reasons for the decline in birth rates.

Therefore, I insist the fundamental solution of increasing birthrate is improving Korean's gender sensitivity.

>> Therefore, I insist the fundamental solution to increasing birthrate is improving Korean's gender sensitivity.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136704 What\'s your greatest strength? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 277
136703 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 1
136702 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 316
136701 Practicing English ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 319
136700 When should we decline an invitation? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 420
136699 What do I hope to achieve the most in the future? ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 0
136698 Homework ±è*Á¦ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 336
136697 Do you think you have a healthy eating habit? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 198
136696 Do you think dogs should not be allowed in parks? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 310
136695 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 316
136694 Have you ever talked to a demanding client? How did you handle... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 3
136693 Would you like to visit Sahara desert? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 629
136692 >> What are your thoughts on Korea\'s education system? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 1
136691 2024.04.23 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 334
136690 Homework 2 ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 334
136689 What are some of the biggest challenges you face when trying to... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 1
136688 How can music help with motivation during a workout? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 356
136687 I think it is very insignificant for humans to deal with... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 377
136686 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 309
136685 I\'ve never met anyone enough to influence decisions and actions. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 298

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04