¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK: Describe your dream place to live.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2024-03-27 1650

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

my dream place is just one

it's a two floor house (the second floor is all my house),
and i wish there was large yard,
when my dog can run around.

this house is very expensive in korea.

so i'll never able to buy it..

or big park around to my house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eve~
While reading your composition, I appreciate how you include your dog... You must really love your pet <3 Well, even if it seems impossible now, I still hope that one day we may have enough money to buy our dream home. 
Chammy
my dream place is just one
>> My dream place is just one.
OR
>> I only have one dream place to live in.
it's a two floor house (the second floor is all my house),
>> It's a two-floor house where the second floor entirely belongs to me.
OR
>>It's a two-story house, and I own the entire second level.
and i wish there was large yard, when my dog can run around.
>> And I wish there was a large yard where my dog could walk around.
or big park around to my house.
>> Or a big park around my place.
OR
>> Or a cozy park near my house. 
this house is very expensive in korea.
>> This kind of house is very expensive in Korea.
so i'll never able to buy it..
>> So, I'll never be able to buy it.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136045 What do you do in the minutes before you sleep? Does it help you... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 1449
136044 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 3
136043 What have you lost while traveling? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 1832
136042 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 2041
136041 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 2369
136040 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 1656
136039 WRITING TASK: What can you do for people who have sleeping... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 7
136038 What advice would you give someone considering getting a pet for... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 4
136037 What do you think about taking a nap? How about sleeping in? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 2385
136036 What are your thoughts on the safety issues in your city? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 4759
136035 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 1887
136034 Vocabulary ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 2921
136033 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 2000
136032 Which skills do you think you need to be an excellent table... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 1905
136031 Best piece of advice ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 2084
136030 Is gender discrimination an issue in Korea? Why do you think so? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 4
136029 How is your home decorated? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 1
136028 Describe a gift you recently gave to someone. ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 32
136027 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 1416
136026 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-01 2372

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04