¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK: Describe your dream place to live.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2024-03-27 559

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

my dream place is just one

it's a two floor house (the second floor is all my house),
and i wish there was large yard,
when my dog can run around.

this house is very expensive in korea.

so i'll never able to buy it..

or big park around to my house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eve~
While reading your composition, I appreciate how you include your dog... You must really love your pet <3 Well, even if it seems impossible now, I still hope that one day we may have enough money to buy our dream home. 
Chammy
my dream place is just one
>> My dream place is just one.
OR
>> I only have one dream place to live in.
it's a two floor house (the second floor is all my house),
>> It's a two-floor house where the second floor entirely belongs to me.
OR
>>It's a two-story house, and I own the entire second level.
and i wish there was large yard, when my dog can run around.
>> And I wish there was a large yard where my dog could walk around.
or big park around to my house.
>> Or a big park around my place.
OR
>> Or a cozy park near my house. 
this house is very expensive in korea.
>> This kind of house is very expensive in Korea.
so i'll never able to buy it..
>> So, I'll never be able to buy it.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135531 HOMEWORK FOR 03.15.2024 WRITING TASK: How do Koreans... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 5
135530 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 423
135529 In your opinion, what is the ideal length of a vacation or trip... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 959
135528 Looking for advice online ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 752
135527 Do you allow other people to suddenly fix your hair or wipe the... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 4
135526 Should you always give an \"update\" to your boyfriend if you... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 4
135525 Describe an important choice you had to make in your life ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 0
135524 How do you treat your friends? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 0
135523 homework - it is not easy to ahieve our life. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 806
135522 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 725
135521 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 2
135520 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 909
135519 ÆòÀÏ°ú ÁÖ¸»ÀÇ ¼ö¸é ½À°üÀº ¾î¶»°Ô ´Ù¸£¸ç ÀÌ·¯ÇÑ º¯È­°¡ ±âºÐ¿¡... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1258
135518 What makes online shopping better than offline shopping? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 3
135517 question and homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 501
135516 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 745
135515 To what extent do you agree or disagree that gamers gain... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 458
135514 How did this stroke of luck change your perspective or approach... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 943
135513 homework 03.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 628
135512 Do you think children need pocket money when they go to school?... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04