무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HW

작성자: 나*진
2024-03-26 1091

회원님의 영작문

Neople is a gaming company best known for Dungeon & Fighter and Cyphers. Dungeon & Fighter is a belt-scroll action game launched in 2005, known for Easy-to-learn, hard-to-master accessibility, action-packed gameplay and iconic, pixelated art, making itself one of the world’s most popular and enduring game franchises . It made a great sucess in Korea and China, not only represents Neople but also stands as a flagship Korean gaming IP. Its success have been proven through numbers, it got over 850 million registered users worldwide, and achieve Life-to-date gross revenue well over $22 billion USD. This gross revenue is several billion dollars more than life-to-date box office of Star Wars and Harry Potter series; more than double the revenue of the entire Avengers series1. It have been serviced for a long time, constantly evolving for 18 years with new characters, skills and communities. Furthermore, there is still much potential that this game would expand their territory more, by using

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Eugene!
Your response demonstrates a strong understanding of Neople and its flagship games. To improve, your description could be more concise and structured, focusing on key points such as the company's successes and a bit of your potential contributions as well. Overall, it's a great response with notable details. It's clear that you made your research. In addition, I think you ran out of space for the last sentence. I'll just put an ellipsis for now. I'm going to listen to what you have to add during our class. See you! 
~ Teacher Maxine

Neople is a gaming company best known for Dungeon & Fighter and Cyphers. 
>> CORRECT!

Dungeon & Fighter is a belt-scroll action game launched in 2005, known for Easy-to-learn, hard-to-master accessibility, action-packed gameplay and iconic, pixelated art, making itself one of the world’s most popular and enduring game franchises . 
>> Dungeon & Fighter is a belt-scroll action game launched in 2005, known for its easy-to-learn, hard-to-master accessibility, action-packed gameplay, and iconic, pixelated art, making it one of the world’s most popular and enduring game franchises.

It made a great sucess in Korea and China, not only represents Neople but also stands as a flagship Korean gaming IP. 
>> It has achieved great success in Korea and China, not only representing Neople but also standing as a flagship Korean gaming IP.

Its success have been proven through numbers, it got over 850 million registered users worldwide, and achieve Life-to-date gross revenue well over $22 billion USD. 
>> Its success has been proven through numbers; it has over 850 million registered users worldwide and has achieved life-to-date gross revenue well over $22 billion USD.

This gross revenue is several billion dollars more than life-to-date box office of Star Wars and Harry Potter series; more than double the revenue of the entire Avengers series1. 
>> This gross revenue is several billion dollars more than the life-to-date box office of the Star Wars and Harry Potter series; more than double the revenue of the entire Avengers series.

It have been serviced for a long time, constantly evolving for 18 years with new characters, skills and communities. 
>> It has been in service for a long time, constantly evolving for 18 years with new characters, skills, and communities.

Furthermore, there is still much potential that this game would expand their territory more, by using
>> Furthermore, there is still much potential for this game to expand its territory further by using...
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
132269 Homework (Self introduction) 이*주 완료 2023-11-08 1579
132268 Homwork (2023.11.08) 이*주 완료 2023-11-08 1480
132267 Who does inflation hit the hardest? 신*섭 완료 2023-11-08 1348
132266 Have you ever encountered problems in attaching files in an... 김*아 완료 2023-11-08 1
132265 Homework : What is the strangest food you have ever eaten? 박*나 완료 2023-11-08 1535
132264 If you had one wish, what would it be? 이*빈 완료 2023-11-08 1395
132263 What are the common career opportunities in Korea right now? DO... 이*태 완료 2023-11-08 1462
132262 Would you like to change your career someday? Why? If not, why... 이*태 완료 2023-11-08 1176
132261 Do you get along with everyone in your workplace? How do you... 이*태 완료 2023-11-08 1991
132260 Have a Second choice 임*진 완료 2023-11-08 1647
132259 What do you hope for your own future? 윤*원 완료 2023-11-08 3
132258 Homework 안*숙 완료 2023-11-08 1313
132257 Korea is an aging society. How is this affecting the country... 신*정 완료 2023-11-08 1272
132256 Homework 정*환 완료 2023-11-08 2014
132255 homework 김*연 완료 2023-11-07 2641
132254 Do you sometimes feel worried about the continuous development... 권*윤 완료 2023-11-07 1
132253 Someone once said: “For every minute you are angry, you lose... 윤*원 완료 2023-11-07 6
132252 How could you decline offers of help politely? 이*혜 완료 2023-11-07 2
132251 Homework 김* 완료 2023-11-07 0
132250 The things best talked about over a drink 이*규 완료 2023-11-07 2432

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]