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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Clerks

작성자: 임*진
2024-03-26 1129

회원님의 영작문

Since every job eventually consists of works with people, work flow and relationship improvement are influenced by first impressions.
Especially, clerks who should sell products face to face have lots of experiences related to customer's first impressons.
It is necessary for clerks to recommend specific products and emphasize selling points based on customer's gender, clothes, tones.
Of course, it is quite different from the type of products. For example, we search the information about the home appliances before we visit the store.
However, clerks in clothes or cosmetics stores should recommend products to customers by a various of previous datas because customers tend to depend on clerk's decisions.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi,Ms. Yu Jin! Your composition emphasizes the critical role of first impressions in influencing work flow and relationships, especially for clerks in customer-facing roles. Tailoring recommendations based on factors like gender, attire, and demeanor is crucial for success. Well-done!
~T. Jenna

Since every job eventually consists of works with people, work flow and relationship improvement are influenced by first impressions.
>>Since every job eventually involves working with people, workflow and relationship improvement are influenced by first impressions.
Especially, clerks who should sell products face to face have lots of experiences related to customer's first impressons.
>>Especially, clerks who should sell products face to face have lots of experiences related to customers' first impressions.
OR
>> Clerks, especially those who engage in face-to-face sales, possess extensive experience in shaping customers' initial impressions.
It is necessary for clerks to recommend specific products and emphasize selling points based on customer's gender, clothes, tones.
>>It is necessary for clerks to recommend specific products and emphasize selling points based on the customer's gender, clothing, and tone
OR
>>To effectively assist customers, clerks must tailor their product recommendations and emphasize selling points according to factors such as the customer's gender, attire, and tone.
Of course, it is quite different from the type of products. 
>> Of course, it varies depending on the types of products.
OR
>>Naturally, the approach varies depending on the types of products involved.
For example, we search the information about the home appliances before we visit the store.
>>For example, we search for information about home appliances before visiting the store.
OR
>>Prior to visiting the store, we typically research information about home appliances.
However, clerks in clothes or cosmetics stores should recommend products to customers by a various of previous datas because customers tend to depend on clerk's decisions.
>>However, clerks in clothing or cosmetics stores should recommend products to customers based on various previous data, as customers often rely on the clerks' recommendations.

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