¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.22

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-22 1531

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever heard of any food safety scandals in your country?

Food incidents often times happen in my country.
One example is, the largest food poisoning in 2018.
This case is, there was a cake in school lunch menu, bu this cake made a problem.
After lunch, some student got food poisoning.
But, there was a more big problem.
Because, a company supplies this cake to across the country schools.
So, many students got sick across the country in school.
Next, incidents is there are cases of group food poisoning that happen every year in my country.
This is oyster food poisoning.
Actually, everyone knows it well, we should be careful when we eat sea food and shellfish.
But, many people like to eat it raw.
So, everyone always said "be careful", but it's can't keep it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever heard of any food safety scandals in your country?


Food incidents often times happen in my country.
>> CORRECT!
One example is, the largest food poisoning in 2018.
>> CORRECT!
This case is, there was a cake in school lunch menu, bu this cake made a problem.
>> This case is, there was a cake in the school's lunch menu, but this cake made a problem.
After lunch, some student got food poisoning.
>> After lunch, some students got food poisoned.
But, there was a more big problem.
>> But, there was a bigger problem.
Because, a company supplies this cake to across the country schools.
>> Because, a company supplies this cake across the country's schools.
So, many students got sick across the country in school.
>> So, many students got sick in schools across the country.
Next, incidents is there are cases of group food poisoning that happen every year in my country.
>> The next incident is that there are cases of group food poisoning that happen every year in my country.
This is oyster food poisoning. 
>> CORRECT!
Actually, everyone knows it well, we should be careful when we eat sea food and shellfish.
>> CORRECT!
But, many people like to eat it raw.
>> CORRECT!
So, everyone always said "be careful", but it's can't keep it.
>> So, everyone always says "be careful", but they can't keep it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132364 How do you think awareness of habituation can improve overall... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 4
132363 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2427
132362 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1934
132361 HOMEWORK FOR 11.13.2023 ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132360 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2991
132359 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2512
132358 homework_231109 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2674
132357 The biggest accident in my whole life °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-12 1
132356 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-12 2776
132355 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-12 1
132354 WRITING TASK: How can helping others help us? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-12 3
132353 Unit5. Homework ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-11-12 2302
132352 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-12 1
132351 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-12 1
132350 Do you prefer the idea of extended or nuclear families? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-11 1941
132349 Do you believe in the saying \"money is the root of all evil\"? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-11 2430
132348 No, I don\'t think so. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-11 2653
132347 I don\'t agree. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-11 2552
132346 I\'ve never done anything like that. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-11 2185
132345 I think children and teenagers have a right to enjoy free speech... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-11 1796

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04