¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.22

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-22 1187

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever heard of any food safety scandals in your country?

Food incidents often times happen in my country.
One example is, the largest food poisoning in 2018.
This case is, there was a cake in school lunch menu, bu this cake made a problem.
After lunch, some student got food poisoning.
But, there was a more big problem.
Because, a company supplies this cake to across the country schools.
So, many students got sick across the country in school.
Next, incidents is there are cases of group food poisoning that happen every year in my country.
This is oyster food poisoning.
Actually, everyone knows it well, we should be careful when we eat sea food and shellfish.
But, many people like to eat it raw.
So, everyone always said "be careful", but it's can't keep it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever heard of any food safety scandals in your country?


Food incidents often times happen in my country.
>> CORRECT!
One example is, the largest food poisoning in 2018.
>> CORRECT!
This case is, there was a cake in school lunch menu, bu this cake made a problem.
>> This case is, there was a cake in the school's lunch menu, but this cake made a problem.
After lunch, some student got food poisoning.
>> After lunch, some students got food poisoned.
But, there was a more big problem.
>> But, there was a bigger problem.
Because, a company supplies this cake to across the country schools.
>> Because, a company supplies this cake across the country's schools.
So, many students got sick across the country in school.
>> So, many students got sick in schools across the country.
Next, incidents is there are cases of group food poisoning that happen every year in my country.
>> The next incident is that there are cases of group food poisoning that happen every year in my country.
This is oyster food poisoning. 
>> CORRECT!
Actually, everyone knows it well, we should be careful when we eat sea food and shellfish.
>> CORRECT!
But, many people like to eat it raw.
>> CORRECT!
So, everyone always said "be careful", but it's can't keep it.
>> So, everyone always says "be careful", but they can't keep it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136659 What sports do you want to be famous for? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 935
136658 What are your thoughts on the different clubs or organizations... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 0
136657 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 1
136656 Dropping a line ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 631
136655 Describe a new thing you\'ve tried recently. ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 1090
136654 Have you ever been to a farm? Write about it. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 905
136653 What are the things that you are so excited to try? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 895
136652 P.02 homework : How would you help someone overcome his fears? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 942
136651 What kind of TV shows would you like to see more on local TV? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 3
136650 What do you hope to achieve the most in the future? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 807
136649 2024.04.22 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 1004
136648 mobile class Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 1
136647 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 827
136646 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 1113
136645 What can be done to address concerns about safety on public... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 1
136644 How do other people\'s opinions affect your decisions and... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 746
136643 TikTok and Samsung Lions ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 819
136642 rural ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 2
136641 HOMEWORK FOR 04.23.2024 WRITING TASK: What will you tell someone... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 3
136640 What are the popular places for vacation in your country? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-23 1105

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04