¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.22

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-22 939

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever heard of any food safety scandals in your country?

Food incidents often times happen in my country.
One example is, the largest food poisoning in 2018.
This case is, there was a cake in school lunch menu, bu this cake made a problem.
After lunch, some student got food poisoning.
But, there was a more big problem.
Because, a company supplies this cake to across the country schools.
So, many students got sick across the country in school.
Next, incidents is there are cases of group food poisoning that happen every year in my country.
This is oyster food poisoning.
Actually, everyone knows it well, we should be careful when we eat sea food and shellfish.
But, many people like to eat it raw.
So, everyone always said "be careful", but it's can't keep it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever heard of any food safety scandals in your country?


Food incidents often times happen in my country.
>> CORRECT!
One example is, the largest food poisoning in 2018.
>> CORRECT!
This case is, there was a cake in school lunch menu, bu this cake made a problem.
>> This case is, there was a cake in the school's lunch menu, but this cake made a problem.
After lunch, some student got food poisoning.
>> After lunch, some students got food poisoned.
But, there was a more big problem.
>> But, there was a bigger problem.
Because, a company supplies this cake to across the country schools.
>> Because, a company supplies this cake across the country's schools.
So, many students got sick across the country in school.
>> So, many students got sick in schools across the country.
Next, incidents is there are cases of group food poisoning that happen every year in my country.
>> The next incident is that there are cases of group food poisoning that happen every year in my country.
This is oyster food poisoning. 
>> CORRECT!
Actually, everyone knows it well, we should be careful when we eat sea food and shellfish.
>> CORRECT!
But, many people like to eat it raw.
>> CORRECT!
So, everyone always said "be careful", but it's can't keep it.
>> So, everyone always says "be careful", but they can't keep it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137727 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 1
137726 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 1
137725 Can you cite some examples of these crimes? And how do you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 976
137724 homework 06.10 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 687
137723 Changing sleeping pattern ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 10
137722 Q) Do you still like the same kinds of food you did when you... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 1
137721 2023.06.10 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 1
137720 Do you believe that everyone is capable of creating art? Why or... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 669
137719 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 605
137718 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 622
137717 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 630
137716 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 1
137715 6/7 (Fri) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 1146
137714 6/10(Mon.) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 1114
137713 2024.06.07 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 695
137712 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 0
137711 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 0
137710 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 0
137709 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 854
137708 hw ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04